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» The Ornery American Forum » Ornery Writers Workshop » "Agrippa" Part 3 by RickyB

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Author Topic: "Agrippa" Part 3 by RickyB
KnightEnder
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This thread for the discussion and critique of "Agrippa" Part 3 by RickyB.

[ April 28, 2005, 02:17 AM: Message edited by: KnightEnder ]

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Richard Dey
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Regarding this continuing issue of 'slanguage' and 'sex roles'. Roman women were not Greek women. Every classica source regarding women in Rome attests to the fact that they had mouths and used them willfully. It was far less likely that a woman would be beheaded for mouthing off than it would have been for a man (of ANY rank). Women under the pagan empire were far freer than women under the christian empire. This isn't to say that there weren't quiet, retiring, dependent women; but this is certainly not to say that there weren't brash, brassy, and outspoken women as well. I suspect that Ricky has them down pretty pat.
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RickyB
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Oh yes, some of these Roman women in my book are gonna be such bitches [Smile]
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Richard Dey
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[Big Grin]

Was Livia still alive in 0023? She's got to at least have a 'walk on' if she was [Big Grin] .

Yes, of course she was : http://www.roman-emperors.org/livia.htm

"To be naive about women is to invite assassination." - D. W. Coulter -

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RickyB
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She'll have a cameo. [Smile]
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RickyB
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Um, I hate nudging, but has anyone even read the latest installment I sent? The opnly comments here are from Richard, who hasn't [Smile]
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KnightEnder
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I'm reading it now and will let you know something soon, I promise.

KE

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Daruma28
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I just read it.

I like the unfolding plot so far...Aggrippas caught in a web of manipulation due to his own debauchery - wine and women.

You have a good sense of description and narration. I would only caution that you may be using the "C" word a bit liberally here...I don't know exactly what you have in mind for a target audience, but I do know that the C word evokes a visceral reaction in females, so my only suggestion would be to use it sparingly - maybe as dialogue, instead of what appears to be Aggrippas default term for any Woman he doesn't personally like.

One request Ricky...could you perhaps create a Character Name, Relationship and Pronunciation guide?

I'm kind of a stickler for that when I read names I haven't encountered before. For instance, do you pronounce Flaccus as "Flatchus" or "Flackus" or "Flassuss?" I'm not quite sure...

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RickyB
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Hey, if Livilla isn't a c***, then I don't know who is. It's not like it's my favorite word or anything, but it is how people call an evil beeatch sometimes [Smile] . Did I have him use it for anyone other than her? If so, then I probably will change it. You're right that I don't want to use it too often.

I'll work on the guide you asked for. As for Pomponius - Its "Flah-kus". The Roman C is generally "k". The book, when published, will have a pronounciation guide, so I might as well get started.

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Pete at Home
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Hey, Ricky -- I asked you by email but didn't get response -- shouldn't I get parts 1 and 2 before starting 3? Could you send me them so I could put 3 in context for my response? Thanks.
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RickyB
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Sure. I never got that email. Coming right up.
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RickyB
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Yo Pete, didja get the files?
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