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tonylovern
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im not a writer, i dont even play one on t.v.

while i have no wish to offend those with serious aspirations, i need to get some words outa my head. i need to vent in verse. i completely understand if everyone here chooses to ignore what i write. i completely understand if my inability to submit what i write to KE, before posting it, gets me a cease and desist request from the board. as i said i just need to get these things outa my head.

that said, if you choose to read what i write and or critique it, please understand that its not a literary aspiration that brings me here, these are little bits of me, my words arent always pretty, but they are as honest as i can make em. also my use of profanity and sense (or lack) of morals may be offensive to some. if this is the case, by all means feel free to not read them, i have no wish to subject sensitive readers to my vulgarity against thier will.

i wont start any threads other than this one, assuming i'm allowed to use this little message box as a form of self therapy. i'll simply post anything i add later here.

i'll start with the lines currently stuck in my head. they are fairly mild compared to some of the more extreme poems i've written. maybe if i get a positive or no response i'll write some of the more vulgar ones i remember. but for now....


today i lay my lover down,
not to the grave,
but just the same,
she's gone to me,
cuz in the end,
i longed to see,
compassion or,
sweet sympathy,
but neither nor,
are for me,
self defeat,
or fallacy,
needing now,
a break from confusion,
mind cant see through,
hearts delusion,
so for a while,
i'll wear this frown,
today i lay my lover down.

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KnightEnder
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Wow, Tony, that was great. I'm no poet, but I really liked it. As for sending it to me, the reason we do that is because if you ever try to get it published there could be complications because it has already been posted on the Web. If you don't ever intend to try to get published then there is no problem. Excellent! More!

KE

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tonylovern
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alright then. heres the disclaimer.


this next one contains profanity and ideas that may be considered immoral or obscene. however its made everyone i ever let read it laugh. except of course for the girl i was dating at the time.


a few lines for spacer


what the **** am i gonna do,
about this girl im making blue?
cause just between me and you,
if it ever comes up i wont be true.
cause a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.
and thats really all it boils down to,
getting off and shooting goo,
then meeting up with you know who.
and that other thing i love to do,
sheep go baa and cows go moo.
tony ****s and gets ****ed up too.
its who i am and what i do.
but i'll take the time to sit and stew,
cause in her i'm seeing something new,
that reminds me of a plant i grew,
the way it rose up and instictively knew,
to reach for the sun, and gatther the dew,
maybe i should go to the zoo,
and try to think like the animals do,
eat, sleep, pick lice and screw,
that really would be nothing new,
but i'm betting you already knew,
the way that im different from you,
faith and fidelity i outgrew,
like my jammies from age two,
this poem i cannot renew,
no more words that end in oo.

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tonylovern
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ok then. no one has told me to stop. please do if i get out of line. it wont be this post tho. this one is for a poem that i didnt write. i dont know who did write it. i only remember that i first read it when i was 17, in jail and had plenty of time to think. to date it is my favorite poem.

love leave me,
like the light.
of a gently passing day,
we would not know,
but for the night,
that it has slipped away,
go quietly,
a dream,
when done, should leave no trace,
that it has lived,
except a gleam,
across the dreamers face.

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tonylovern
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lovley, slanted, flowing script,
lured me in unitll i tripped,
upon a line stating intent,
then i knew just what she meant,
pretty words, so kind and true,
nothing that could make me blue,
affection, even adoration
words to swell any mans elation,
then without warning, my eyes fell upon,
the nicest way possible, to say dear john

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Zyne
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I like a little levity in verse. I don't think I could ever, ever read "shooting goo" without breaking into a smile.
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tonylovern
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i should probably say, i didn't mean earlier, that comments werent appreciated. just that i probably wont understand what people mean if they start correcting my grammar or measure or what not. i'm not a serious enough student of poetry to think past how it sounds in my head.

i suppose i shoulda just said its all in fun, and invited others to throw out thier own favorite poetry if they wished. i'll do that now.

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wide-eyed_wonder_child
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Thanks! I had a bad experience with posting poetry on a forum once and being roasted alive. I don't write poetry for the poetry's sake, I write it for me. I think I'll occasionally take you up on your offer.

As for your poems, I enjoyed reading them and I applaud you for having the courage to post "little bits of you".

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tonylovern
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here i am again, ready to drop some female centric rhyming words.

for some reason i cant get depressed without trying to rhyme things.


your beauty is constant,
a permanent fixture,
naughty, demure,
a volatile mixture,
it excites my blood,
and quickens my heart,
a bold wink my way,
strikes home like a dart,
your eyes, lips, and grace,
all deserve mention,
but your true beauty lies,
in your gentle affections,
the way you lie,
your cheek on my shoulder,
where you put your feet,
to prove yours are colder,
of course i must name,
your incredible vision,
the way each brushstroke falls,
with delicate precision,
how could i not,
pay ode to your passion,
your fiery heart,
astute sense of fashion,
there is no end,
to the things i adore,
every day i find much and more,

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VStanaland
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I really liked this last poem. It reminds me of how my husband loves me. I applaud this poem. Thank you for sharing it.
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tonylovern
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your welcome, thank you for appreciating it.
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tonylovern
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alright, i just cant stop, no matter how bad it gets, the poetry i mean.


baby, i'm your biggest fan,
happy just to hold your hand,
be by your side,
and in your heart,
trailing behind you,
at wall mart.
the joy i feel from little things,
grabs my heart and makes it sing,
little things,
like a long foot rub,
holding doors open,
cooking grub.
the big things ,
even more dramatic
my joy peaks,
then remains static,
big things like,
your hugs and kisses,
that demure wink,
that never misses,
big and little,
all i adore,
you got locked down,
and thats the score.

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tonylovern
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alright, i suppose most of the people reading this, have figured out the basics of why i write these. lately has been rough. that said, heres more.


i've built my life,
with you in mind,
if you check,
i'm sure you'll find,
at every step,
along the way,
in each and every,
single day,
you've been in my heart,
foremost in my brain,
not once intending,
to cause any pain,
yet you seem hurt,
distracted and distant,
withdrawn from me,
demanding, insistant,
you tell me you love me,
then push me away,
tell me i'm perfect,
then leave the next day,
you blow hot and cold,
it tears me apart,
from sad, mad, to happy,
then right back to start,
i know you want freedom,
but freedoms a curse,
freedom to leave me,
goddamnit that hurts,
how can i try,
to grant that request,
knowing damn well,
your simply the best,
how can i grant you,
the urges you voice,
i can't, i know that,
it was never my choice.

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tonylovern
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alrighty then, back again. in a much better mood this time. todays installment, i think i'm simply naming "your"


your eyes in the morning,
your hair in the light,
your lips in the evening,
are all a delight,
your smile in the bedroom,
your hips in the den,
your hand on my hand,
i'll never say when,
your thoughts in the diner,
your touch in the dark,
your love like an arrow,
never misses its mark,
your beauty in all things,
your vision resplendant,
your precious optimism,
on these things i'm dependant,
your poise under pressure,
your unflagging spirit,
your grin makes me happy,
just to be near it.
your whim is an edict,
your will is my hope,
your wish is my dream,
without you i mope,
your heart is precious,
your joy i cherish,
your favor it lifts me,
to where all doubts perish

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tonylovern
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i would do anything, anything i say.
to keep you with me just one more day.
anything at all, name your pleasure,
i offer this love, without limits or measure,
the fire in my heart, passion at my core,
are without reservation, reserved, for the one i adore,
you know who that is, without even trying.
its always been you, with no thought of vying,
theres no competition, not even a little.
you help keep me even, somewhere in the middle.
my love hits extremes, of that i wont lie.
that's why i cant just decide to not try,
i just cant give up, not today or tommorrow,
for your love i gladly, face all this sorrow.
can't say its not worth it, i know better at heart.
we both see this in sadness, when we're apart.
the love we share, is enduring and kind,
as seen by the way we're on each others mind,
sometimes our lives dont make any sense,
we say or do things that make us both wince,
sometimes we forget, that the other one's there,
that doesn't mean for a second, that we dont care,
its a sign of the comfort and safety we feel,
a sign that our love, is enduring and real.
when we remember, the other ones presence,
we know what we share, deep in our essence,
it never left, never went away,
not once for a minute, not on any day.
nor any night, has our love dissipated,
even though sometimes it feels old and faded.
the love is still there, deep down inside,
a love strong and true, that fills me with pride.
no need to revive it, it was never dead,
just hidden behind the things in our heads.
but its still there, vibrant and whole.
it radiates joy, unpromised, untold.
in matters of love, we both know our feelings,
how to express them, in our day to day dealings.
i know we can do it, rekindle the spark.
we just need to start doing things on the lark.
i've asked you before, to please give me time,
time to convince you, you want to be mine.
time to have fun, go out and carouse,
clubs, parties, theme parks, or the mall just to browse.
visiting friends, both old and new.
my friends or your friends, whichever will do.
just get out of this house, do something exciting.
the world beckons us, tempting, inviting.

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scouser1
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I have a poem that we had to write on sexual jealousy in school once, because we were watching othello and some prose in that is the same concept. I still have it somewhere so i'll dig it out and post it on here, see what youi think. I was onlt 16 at the time, and even my english teacher seemed suprised for some reason!!
[Big Grin]

Its in my boyfriends mam's at the min but will post it as soon as, thank you [Smile]

[ February 16, 2007, 08:28 AM: Message edited by: scouser1 ]

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scouser1
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Ok, heres my poem, let me know what you think:

Here I stand,
With blood on the carpet,
On the knife,
On my hands,
My hands.

In my head re-living the final moments,
His final moments,
My final moments,
With a heart full of remorse,
Tinged with revenge.

Now it is full of tears,
Seeing red, where our marital bed did lay,
Unmade, no attempt to hide the truth.
His innocent smile on the silver stand,
Beside the meaningless band of gold.
The final betrayal, feeling deceived.
He had to pay. No way out.

There he lay, asleep.
Around I creep.
The screams drown me,
Shrill, loud.
Feeling the warm red liquid
Trickle down my hand.

Every nail in his coffin,
Anail in my cold heart.
His face, that face,
Haunts my thoughts
My dreams,
My life...
Not anymore

Scouser1 (Lisa Marie)

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tonylovern
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beautifull, beautifull.
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tonylovern
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in the past, where they belong
singing thier meloncholy song.
reaching out, across the distance.
beating down my last resistance.
reminding me, without fail
the time has passed for that ship to sail
still i must be reminded, or so it seems.
man i really hate these dreams

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tonylovern
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i take these drugs to help me sleep
a dreamless kind of slumber
wish i had more, and different kinds
anything to make me dumber
got some k, i'll snort it up
and fall in a hole for an hour
give me weed to fry my brain
maybe i'll be less dour
keep your coke, the same with your X
speed isn't what i need
but hand me a k-pin and a bottle of scotch
and we'll be close friends indeed
gimme some tussin and sleepinol,
it just might do the trick
i'll settle for ny-Quil and tylenol
if i cant have my pick
just dope me up and knock me out
use nubane if you have to
or vicodin and percoset
even demerol, i'll make do.
these are the days when i really miss
my scrips for antipsychotics
some seroquel or risperdal
i'll relish feeling robotic
anything to shut of my brain
or slow it for a while
just let me sleep a dreamless sleep
content like a child
give me drugs, and lots of them
every downer you can find
i'll chase em all with patron anejo
hell, i'll chase em with cheap wine
what i would give for some hippie crack
an o2 tank and a mask
whatever it takes regardless the risk
as long as they complete the task
i'd chug me some moonshine, and likley go blind
if i knew where to find the stills
but all of this wishing and wantings for naught
all i have are allergy pills

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Brandi
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I figured I'd add my two poetic cents......


So here I sit, quite ridiculous
Waiting for the phone to sing
Sounding the noise of your voice
It's a habit, a method of choice

But it's all for nothing.......

Neverending and soul numbing
Effervescent, dependant and incessant
Reminders are constant
Verging on dumping the incandescent

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cperry
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tony

I have so appreciated your sharing your situation and yourself with us through this forum; it reminds me of the power of writing to live, vent, explore, express. It also reminds me of these shared experiences of love, loss, want, pain, passion, despair.

I hope you know that others have been there and will be there.

cp

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tonylovern
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Thank you CP. its good to be reminded sometimes.

i'd much rather be writing about happier things. unfortunately i'm only ever really inspired by depression or stress. i've been writing a good bit recently, but most of them were sent out with no copy kept, or deleted. that, and i'm not certain how well they would be recieved by some members.

i do remember my trilogy though. written when i was 18. its by far the darkest pieces i wrote, yet oddly, among my friends they've been the most popular. theres a certain progression that will be obvious, as i moved from melancholy to different degrees of resentment. i'll write the first one now, and the other two later.


Charismatic melancholy,
sorceress of pain
living loving breathing life
courting you in vain
you said you tried, me thinks you lied
leaving nothing left
cant you see whats left of me
soul shattered and bereft
tattooed skin sinking in
scars of your memory
enigmatic and sporadic
cant stop loving thee
the things you hide down inside
what lies in your past?
Introspection, your own reflection,
this is the spell you've cast
the tears you've cried, the lies you've lied
how do you stay so sane?
Charismatic melancholy
my sorceress of pain.

edited to add: remember i was 18, you kinda have to forgive the style.

[ December 18, 2007, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: tonylovern ]

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tonylovern
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part 2. it gets a lil darker here. nothing like part 3, but i'll give ya'll a chance to stop me before i post that one.


waking to another whore
sleeping in my bed
the broken glass from last nights drinks
raking through my head
who the **** could that be knocking?
at two in the afternoon
could it be a package for me
to lend my spirits boon?
vision blurry, yet i hurry
lest they go away
through the eyehole i see cops
moving either way
what the **** is goin on,
as i'm opening the door
tackle****ed, i guess i'm stuck,
face down on the floor
miranda rights read to me
cuffed and stuffed in the car.
informed that if i try to run,
i wont get very far
tried, convicted, sentence death
i guess there is no save
but i still care and think of you
in your shallow grave.

ok, nows the time to stop me if you're gonna. the last one is just twisted, intentionally so. i'll post it tommorrow if no one minds.

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tonylovern
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ok. here goes. the twisted one. fair warning, this contains elements of murder, necrophilia, abuse of a corpse and improper use of hair styling tools.


could you feel the ripping of your flesh?
or was the shock too great?
now you see what its like to be
the recipient of my hate
bloodlust set is, again i've been
a very naughty boy
mommy always scolded me
for breaking all my toys
with curling iron and vaseline
to get you warm and wet
with arms, legs, head out of the way
for ****ing you are set
bloodlust set is, again i've been
a very naughty boy
mommy always scolded me
for breaking all my toys
can you hear the cracking of your ribs
as i'm using them for leverage?
i must slow down you've almost reached
complete cum coverage.

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tonylovern
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what i need is not a thing
to be bought borrowed or stolen
it can not be forced, coerced or compelled
or paid on a debt thats beholden
if its a goal, it can not be reached
intent robs the feeling of flavor
spontaneous, sporadic, sometimes nomadic
when found it flee's too quick to savor
searching for new, makes it feel old
this feeling i crave more than ever
its never a goal, so much as a vice
this worthy yet fleeting endeavor
cant give it a name,
its too hard to describe
yet i cant fail to recognize
when everythings on,
and a light fills my eyes
revealing the truth
of self effacing lies
and i'm so content
all my breaths turn to sighs
and once again i turn into the guy
who's world makes sense, both out and inside
what i need is complicated.

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KnightEnder
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Hey Tony. Just wanted to let you know we are still reading and enjoying your stuff.

KE

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munga
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Tony,

While it was powerful, I'm going to hope that was really really cathartic and that all that stuff is now "out of your head" because .... it doesn't bear repetition in real life, laws and nature being what they are.

You've got talent just, um, keep it contained, eh?

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tonylovern
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hehe, contained it is. no need to worry bout me and laws though, i dont tend to lash out in real life, and the violent poems were written over a decade ago.

i haven't writtent much lately though. what i have written was both poorly done and intended for a specific audience.

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