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Author Topic: Wasted time
scifibum
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A thread to recount time ill spent. (Whether reading about others' wasted time would qualify is a matter of opinion. [Smile] )

  • My first girlfriend was 9 years older than me and found me in a state of total loneliness and inexperience. She quickly let me know she could "not handle being dumped again." Her neediness dovetailed nicely with mine. Unfortunately after a month or two I realized I wasn't in it for the long term...but my sense of guilt that ending it would be something she could "not handle" kept that farce going for two years. I really, really want 20 of those months back - after I was just trying to figure out the right way to end it, but not being willing to do it yet. I felt awful when I finally ended it, but...I give myself half a pass. She might not have realized it but she used the lever of my desire not to be hurtful with all the torque she could muster.
  • I hate to say it but earning my Eagle Scout rank was a waste of time. I was pressured into it, did a project with only temporary cosmetic value, and accepted too much help so I didn't really learn anything about leadership or accomplishment. I wish I'd just volunteered my time on a project that mattered, or even worked on writing or music instead, since I actually enjoyed those things. Parents: if you have to force your boy to get his Eagle Scout award, don't. It nullifies the value. (I'm tempted to rant about how organizing the efforts of others isn't the best or ideal way for every boy to contribute the most value to his community or even his own personal development. Eagle Scout rank is just another round hole: great for the round pegs. A little sanding might be in order but please put away the 10 pound hammer.)
  • This thread

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EDanaII
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  • My response to this thread.
[Big Grin]
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Viking_Longship
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Most of my education up until college was a waste of my time. I've commented on that before. The time I spent working on an MA in journalism might be considered a waste of time as it mostly just convinced me I didn't want to be around journalists.
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TheSteelenGeneral
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scifi,

about that eagle scout thing: If you make your kid take piano lessons (or any sport or whatever) there will for sure come a time when the kids says that they don't wanna do it anymore "coz its hard and boring". Then how do you decide, when that's genuine (and it's hurting the kid), and when it's just laziness (or not enough discipline, determination etc.)?

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scifibum
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TSG, I wish I knew the answer to that question. I know in my family of origin, kids tried bailing from moving vehicles to get out of piano lessons. I figure if it gets to that point I'm going to let my kids off the hook. [Big Grin]

But more seriously, I don't care if my kids stick with piano or sports, even though I plan to expose them in both. I really don't. They won't make a living that way unless either a) they LOVE it and I don't have to push them or b) I'm willing to push them like crazy (until they go crazy, see "Shine").

Graduating high school is another matter, and I'll use my financial support as a lever to encourage them to get a college degree or at least enter into a trade school or apprenticeship or the like.

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scifibum
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So I'll encourage them to think about it, maybe make deals like "well just finish out the year then we'll talk about it again" etc., but I won't be draconian if they are desperately trying to get out of it.
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Storm Saxon
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scifi,

It is my understanding that Eagle Scout opens a whole lot of doors in terms of getting jobs....

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scifibum
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Yeah, there's always an anecdote or two to be told about the guy who meets a stranger, finds out he's an Eagle Scout, then decides on the spot to give him a great job. I'm not sure if I'd want to work for a guy who didn't vet his employees a little better than that.
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MattP
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I don't think Eagle Scout really does much for jobs, if it ever did. I see it on a resume occasionally, but when we sit down to discuss whether we're going to hire someone, nobody mentions the people that have or haven't got their Eagle. Perhaps in non-technical fields it's more important.

As for piano lessons, I recently let my 14-year-old stop taking piano lessons because she has a heavy academic load and has voluntarily taken on another instrument. She plays the snare drum in marching band and has been doing exceptionally well - she's the only student in the "advanced" percussion class who has been playing for so little time and the percussion instructor has said that she's the best student.

Since she's continuing her musical education on her own initiative, we figured it was fair to let her determine which instrument she'd do that with. If she just wanted to quit piano without the drum thing going on, we may have been more resistant.

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TheSteelenGeneral
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quote:
Originally posted by MattP:
She plays the snare drum in marching band

"this one time ... at band camp..." [Wink]

Haven't you then learned NOTHING from the great "American Pie" saga? [Wink] [Razz]

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TheSteelenGeneral
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quote:
Originally posted by scifibum:
TSG, I wish I knew the answer to that question. I know in my family of origin,

what is that?
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TheSteelenGeneral
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darn it, i thought my band camp remark would get more traction! [Frown] [Smile] [Wink]
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