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Author Topic: Limerick challenge
scifibum
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Rules are simple:

Write a limerick about the subject suggested by the previous poster.

Suggest a subject for the next limerick.

Extra points awarded* for correct meter, humor, and vocabulary. If you need it, see What is a limerick

*points will not be awarded.

_________________

A man once retired to a room
And urgently emitted a fume
He then turned his head
And colored bright red
Vacancy had been inapt to presume.

Pickles.

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DonaldD
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A Caper an olive a gherkin
Maybe fish if you purchase a key-tin
If you had to surmise
Which might water your eyes
Would you guess it's the one with the wart-in?


FM Radio.

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Clark
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I have free music to spare;
it comes on waves through the air.
My preferred variation
is frequency modulation,
but for talk and the news, I don't care.


Shoelaces.

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Individual Persona
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Attempting to speak of the weather,
My mood was as light as a feather.
I am going to run
When he knows what I've done
His shoelaces are tied together.


Pillow fights.

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munga
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Displaying our knack for the "right"
we bore down in political fight.
We shredded each other;
we lost every feather,
And had nothing to sleep on that night.

Trickle Down Economics

[ September 10, 2008, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: munga ]

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scifibum
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Don't gimme no damn Hooked on Phonics
Or clever but trite electronics
To give my kids learnin
I'll only be yearnin
To trickle them down some Reaganomics

Spaceflight.

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Jordan
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I hopped in my spaceship to see
If Pluto had two moons or three
But how could I take off when
The needle said hydrogen
Was down to one million lb?

Verb conjugation.

[ September 10, 2008, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: Jordan ]

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EDanaII
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In a contest of lyrical farce,
A limerick did they ask me to parse
But verb conjugation
Caused me no celebration
So I pulled what I could out my arse.

Penguins.

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munga
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If the world is all black and white
and they judge what they see in the light,
the people will think
that maybe you stink,
unless you're the bird with no flight.

Angel Investors

[ September 10, 2008, 08:44 PM: Message edited by: munga ]

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EDanaII
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There once was an angel investor,
who thought poorness was her repressor.
So, she hawked her gold harp
and dressed really sharp,
until the vice squad did quickly arrest her.

Perpetual Motion.

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Adam Masterman
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To preserve the motion its lent,
A perfect system where nothing is spent;
There's but one tiny quirk,
They simply don't work
(except for the one in my basement).

Millard Filmore

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NSCutler
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Because Zachary’s health was neglected
He assumed without being elected
His Whigs fell apart
His Know-nothings weren’t smart
He was twice by the voters rejected

supercolliders

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EDanaII
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Europe once built a super collider
and particles became its main rider
but they forsook the toll
of a micro black hole
and the earth got swallowed inside her.

Obama.

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NSCutler
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Though his numbers are down, he won’t fret
He’ll fall back on what is a sure bet:
Show McCain has been naughty
With some Star Trek Hottie
That old strategy hasn’t failed yet!


Fannie May and Freddie Mac

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munga
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"Let market justice cut second raters"
so that your now becomes mine in the laters
"Cash for Title" we cuss...
except when it's us
(just hope nobody Qui Tam Relators).

Potty Training

[ September 11, 2008, 11:53 PM: Message edited by: munga ]

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Ben
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I sit a while like a fool
While the kid kicks the stool
He takes his seat
But is never neat
So I clean the resulting pool

Modern Architecture

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Individual Persona
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The Greeks had their columns of marble
The Romans had arches to marvel
But when "modern" 's the word
To be dull is absurd
We need steel and windows that sparkle.


Wigs

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Viking_Longship
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Card says that Nicolas Cage
Should admit his that his hairline has aged
He should take off the wig
Not whine like a prig
And admit that his head turned the page.

ducks

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scifibum
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The ducks in the park are benign
When folks heed the "no feeding" sign
But if food is dropt
The ducks can't be stopt
And the frenzied assault is malign

The Swedish chef.

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NSCutler
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This gourmand with a technique quite daring
Makes a maelstrom of chicken and herring
His knife work is quick
And his accent’s so thick
That no one can tell if he's swearing

A bidet

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canadian
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Only just learning its function
When a cool spray cleaned out my junction
Not bothering to wipe
I ran in a fright
And returned sopping wet to the luncheon

Anderson Cooper

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RickyB
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A Journalist for the new century
His reportage bursting with empathy
his shock of silver mane
hides quite a paucity of brain
As he drowns us in bawling inanity

The NYT

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EDanaII
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There once was a man with the Times,
Who read it for various crimes
But when his bidet
Would no longer spray
It got used for personal slimes.

The Terminator.

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scifibum
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When Ahnold was learning to act
He seemed but a muscular hack
But who else could say
With such leaden cachet
That (barring election) he'd "be back"?

Fingernails.

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Finvarra
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They looked at the present aghast
And decided they must change the past.
So they sent Schwarzenegger
The feared terminator
To end Sarah's life in a blast.

Marlboro lights

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Finvarra
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damnit I was too late
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scifibum
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I liked it, though.
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NSCutler
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I'm a gene jocky. Splicing is what I do:

She believed her alibi was tight
And proved she hadn’t killed him that night
But his fingernail’s scratch
Made a sequencing match
With the butt of her Marlboro Light


Nikola Tesla

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D Pace
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My nails grow after I'm dead
A thought which I eerily dread
So I mark them with lines
To help count the time
That I've been croaked in my bed.


Summer Glau

[too late - back to Tesla]

[ September 16, 2008, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: D Pace ]

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Finvarra
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A serbian man of science
Had a surprising sexual alliance
His fetish was quixotic
Though strangely erotic
But was the pigeon in compliance?

(I had to wiki Tesla and there was a bit on how he loved a white pigeon as a woman)


Vegas

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hobsen
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Tesla himself said, "Sometimes I feel that by not marrying I made too great a sacrifice for my work so I have decided to lavish all the affection of a man no longer young on the feathery tribe. I am satisfied if anything I do will live for posterity. But to care for these homeless, hungry or sick birds is the delight of my life. It is my only means of playing."

The reference to marriage suggests Tesla was heterosexual, a homosexual admirer and his fondness for musclemen suggest he was homosexual, and most biographers have concluded he never had sex with anyone. But he adopted a pigeon with a broken wing and leg, spent 18 months and $2000 caring for her daily, and finally released her fully recovered to a farm where she could live out her life happily. Perhaps he saw that as a substitute for marriage, or perhaps as the one good deed on which his salvation would depend. Anyway he was a strange man, and both cryptic and profound, so it is doubtful anyone understood him.

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D Pace
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I didn't say it wasn't a vice
Betting all that I own on the dice
just comp me some liquor
and send me a stripper-
Hell will feel quite nice

Summer Glau

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RickyB
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A nice little hottie
with pictures all naughty
alas, I must cry
I missed firefly
so couldn't tell her from a pottie.

Political nausea

[ September 17, 2008, 05:36 PM: Message edited by: RickyB ]

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scifibum
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The debate is advancing pathetically
Such as porcine enhancement cosmetically
if this crap goes on
I hope the Higgs Boson
Will eclipse all the issues theoretically

Plastic surgery. [Big Grin]

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NSCutler
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If glamorousness is your dream
And you have more cash than self esteem
With some nips and some tucks
For a few thousands bucks
We'll transform you to something extreme!

Divorce

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Finvarra
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There once was a day long ago
When breasts were not all just for show
Now I must cop a feel
To know if they're real
I still like to look at them, though.

Timothy Leary

[ September 17, 2008, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: Finvarra ]

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Finvarra
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damnit, late again, back to divorce
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Finvarra
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She told me she'd like a divorce
I suggested another recourse
To screw monogamy
Screw a couple, two, or three
Though its true that I'm hung like a horse.

Timothy Leary

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EDanaII
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Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, he's outside looking in.
Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, he's outside looking in.
Hell fly his astral plane,
Takes you trips around the bay,
Brings you back the same day,
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.


Oops! That's not a limerick... or even mine. [Smile]

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munga
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Timothy thought to transcend
and he wondered if tenure could "bend"
when his students were groomed
to sit down be'schroomed
which spelled Leary's credential'd end.


McCain fixing the Economy

[ September 18, 2008, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: munga ]

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