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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Miscellaneous Chat - Part 2 (Page 37)

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Author Topic: Miscellaneous Chat - Part 2
Chael
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Gyah. Very well.. as long as I have a partner in misery, I guess I can make myself do it. Somehow.

Doesn't seem to matter whether I like the subject or not. I automatically detest finals.

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TommySama
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To be fair, I'm staying up all night writing my mythology paper on catharsis and masturbation.
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Chael
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That sounds like a great topic for a mythology paper. Who are you using?

In context, that sounds vaguely wrong.

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cperry
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LOL, KE. Church flu. That's awesome.
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NobleHunter
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I'm just writing a take home exam on historical methodology. Catharsis and masturbation sounds like a lot more fun.
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kenmeer livermaile
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Ferris Livermaile's Day Off:

I was looking for nephew Kyle's work place. One of those extremely counterintuitive addresses. Lots of road construction complicating getting around.

One stretch has curving streets that feed into each other. I am on the flow-thru street; another curvy street ends in mine in a T. No yield or stop signs informing this T, but only 10-15 yards ahead, my street Ts into the local major arterial with a stop sign.

Humvee stops and I am slowing. Clear eye contact with the guy. Suddenly he zooms in front of me. I have to brake fast. Not hard but fast. It was so blatantly invasive and dangerous I indulge in a bit of display and pull up on his left, turn left, and as I pull out, flip him the bird (had to wait until I was at an agle where he up high in Humvee could see me down low in SAAB.

Just then my brainpan flashes: Dude in anally polished power red Humvee who pulled out in a dangerously aggressive manner. This guy is gonna go after me.

So he does. Follows me. I pull into a parking lot to go into some business to ask if they know where Kyle's workplace is.

Humvee pulls behind me and parks in a manner to prevent me from leaving.

As I open my car door to get out he places his arm on the now opened door to prevent me from leaving. I am able to get out but he has his body and arm placed so ant further goes through him.

I tell him strongly something like: Don't talk to me. I have nothing to say to you.

"You will," he says, his arm and body blocking me egress (although I was able to actually exit the car itself, he is preventing me from going further).

I think I gently but firmly touched his shoulder. I forget. Maybe I just moved in a way that indicated I was about to walk through him? Whatever I did, it was deliberately not mano a mano crap. I wasn't going to give this obvious lunatic, mid-40s, Grecian formula, a bit shorter than me, stouter build, gym biceps but major potbelly, total Type-A mid-life crisis loser written all over him, now dealing with the fact that his Humvee was no longer a status synbol but an idiocy icon... wasn't going to give him the dueling buckhorns signals he so wanted for to get into a dominance tussle. I don't DO macho tussles. I either live or die, y'know? That's what violence is for for intelligent males who've transcended mere compete for duh wimminz herd instinct.

He's half-yelling at me how 'the guy on the right has the right of way'.

I don't bother telling him he was at a T where he had no right of way, and that didn't give him the right to pull out dangerously. Nor do I tell him that obstructing my vehicle's egress from a parking spot is illegal as in a form of civil obstruction, nor that deliberately preventing me from leaving my vehicle is also a form of assault.

I just yell at the top of my fury (born then from inner fear, because I know how dangerously deadly violence is for both of us), words roughly like this:

"I don't give a flying freaking rat's ass! You dumbass stupid mother****er! Get the frick away from me and my vehicle!"

Doing this with my hands & arms pointed somewhat behind me, as in not preparing to physically engage, but leading aggressively into him with my face. Subliminal message being:

"I am way crazier than you, you stupid lightweight midlife crisis moron. And should you decide to further assault me, I will put every ounce of energy into making it as expensive an assault for you in all manners: your physical health, your masculine ego, your legal consequences."

He backs off, almost unconsciously, I think. It was a rather fluid motion on his part, like a crab back-scuttling from the crazy angry male face.

And then, the clincher. He reaches deep into his subterbrainian archives, pulls out this cliche putdown, saying:

"No wonder you're angry. I would too if I looked like you.'

As he clambered back into his Humvee, I hollered, "Hey! I think you're kind of cute!"

I don't like how I handled it. Not because it wasn't adequate: it worked. My instincts were good and I held my resolve not to kiss his (or anyone's) ass ever again unless it's the absolutely political smart thing to do. But I wasn't nearly so smooth a ninja as I would have liked.

But still, I didn't just break his arm as he laid it flat out against my car door providing me an easy grab and snap opportunity. (He might have decked me hard as I did so, maybe even have knocked me out, but I would have come to a bit later to a guy writhing in agony on the concrete. I could have gone through his wallet, taken his various IDs, and 'splained how I'd mail it to him once I'd taken whatever subsequent measures I felt necessary. Like copying it all on a xerox in the office bldg by the parking lot as I called 911.)

As it was, I told him he was cute, turned to go into the office to ask my question, and saw a $1 lying on the ground.

Sort of like a tip from God saying, 'Not bad. Not $5 tip material, but still, adequate entertainment.'

Mostly I'm pissed I didn't register 'bright red Hummer', which along with a camo-painted 4x4 w/monster tires and a gun rack, is nature's way of saying: 'way too stupid to piss off unless you're prepared to maim or kill the bastard and are sure you can keep it to the former.'

'cuz you *know* I wanted to just kill the bastard. I have a sense of social hygiene and civic duty, y'know. I am a compassionate conservative.

Oh yeah: you know he voted for dubya. Probably twice.

I was disappointed my nose didn't bleed as I was yelling at him. Adrenalin vasoconstricts even as it spikes your BP. 1/2 hour later, I suddenly spontaneously bled as I sat in a luncheon w/Kyle.

I wanted to see him freak out as I began bleeding from my face as I yelled at him in full frenzy.

The Hulk Effect, y'know.

hee-hee!

[ May 05, 2009, 07:36 AM: Message edited by: kenmeer livermaile ]

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scouser1
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"Ferris Livermaile's day off"

[LOL]

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KnightEnder
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Monday late for work I blatantly cut a guy off at a light because the little lawnmower in front of me was going two miles an hour off the line. He honked at me and did something other than flip the bird at me something like a what-the-**** wave. I waved kinda back. So, by the time we got to the next light he pulled up beside me and studiously ignored me. I rolled down my window causing him to do the same and I said; "I'm sorry."

He said; "You're sorry?!! Man that was a NASTY cut-off!"

I said; "I know. I shouldn't have done it. That's why I'm apologizing."

He looked at me real mean for a second and then said; "Thanks man. I appreciate it." Kinda smiled and rolled back up his window.

In my younger days I probably would have gotten pissed that he didn't immediately accept my apology. I think I've grown. (Driving away I still felt guilty, but better.)

KE

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Redskullvw
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No we never did, and with his unregistering, something important that made Ornery what it has always been has been unexpectedly diminished.

I really don't know why he left and already miss his contributions.

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scifibum
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Great story, KL. I kind of like the ape**** strategy.

I did hear from Ev, but didn't get the go ahead to pass anything along. So as unsatisfying as this update is, there you go. He might respond to emails if you know how to contact him.

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KnightEnder
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I've called him and gotten no call back. It's hard to believe he is gone for good.

Did anybody see any particular discussion or argument that might have caused him to take such extreme action? [Frown]


KE

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KnightEnder
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On a lighter note; The Rockets beat the Lakers!

Who'd a thunk it? The Lakers were favored by 8 points and at home. Now we have home-court advantage. It would really be something if we could win this series because nobody here in Houston thought the Rockets had much of a chance this year.

KE

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IrishTD
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Kobe losing is a good thing. Go Rockets.
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Lina Inverse
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Are there other dinocomics fans here? Because this is the best thing that has ever existed and I will be playing with it all day.
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Omega M.
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Did you see this?

Michael Savage banned from UK

Others recently banned include Fred Phelps, a former KKK leader, and several (apparently) Muslim preachers.

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KnightEnder
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Dino-Mix

Well, that was a waste of an hour.

KE

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scouser1
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They should start banning the asylum seekers now, we all think theres quite enough here already [FootInMouth]
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scifibum
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So I got to go on a fishing trip with my oldest boy and my father (and assorted other family) last week. We spent 3 days on Lake Powell fishing unsuccessfully (my tally: one big carp and one small largemouth bass) and having a blast in the cold water thanks to wetsuits.

Wakeboarding almost seems like a form of torture. I definitely inhaled water, experienced terror, and was shaken, sore, and psychologically vulnerable afterward. But it was very fun, so I'll take it over waterboarding. [Wink] Apparently my cousin got a good picture of my faceplant, so I'll try to remember to share that one.

It gave me occasion to talk to my dad about politics, and he drives me nuts. He generously paid for most of the trip, and he's a great guy, a family man and an upstanding citizen, but...very tiring. He pointed out that Lake Powell probably wouldn't exist if it was proposed now instead of in the 1950s. Very probably true. But he felt like that would have been an unmitigated misfortune! As if we didn't submerge a lot of stunning scenery, wildlife habitat, and archaeological sites. In return we got a large reservoir, hydroelectric power, and a different recreational site, but we definitely paid a large price for it. His views on environmentalism seem to involve a straw man that wants to kill off the human race. Very frustrating. Part of the problem with arguing with him about it is that he cites (vague) scripture as justification for his views on the environment...so it's like trying to argue with God.

Ah, but Lake Powell is still incredibly beautiful. I can only imagine the dramatic clefts of the old Glen Canyon, but it's still amazing. Worth the visit if you like boating and red rock.

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Kuato
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Scifi- I know exactly what you mean. I feel, when talking to my Mormonbuds, that I am fighting the Gold Standard religion rather than the Gold Standard economic policy. So many assumptions make so many strawmen....
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NobleHunter
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It think that's one reason any religion makes me uncomfortable, even the super-duper liberal Universal Unitarianism. It's just too easy for it to slip over into other beliefs which become that much more resistant to change.

And the UU service I went to had a bit too much certainty around it. I don't like it when people are that certain in real life.

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Chael
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I'm very certain.. that my first final is over, and my analytical project (music theory) is as ready as it's going to be (i.e., as ready as I can stand to make it). Three cheers--now I can relax and take my next final on the morrow.

So Tommy, inquiring minds want to know: whose mythology were you writing about? [Smile]

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TommySama
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Greek and Roman (Aeschylus: Oresteia; Ovid; Sophocles and Euripedes)

Long story short, I argued that Alcoholics Anonymous people were a bunch of wimps, and proved it using Hippolytus (I changed strategies around 2 AM when I decided to write a second paper, because masturbation and catharsis seemed too tacky and obvious).

[ May 06, 2009, 12:39 AM: Message edited by: TommySama ]

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Chael
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Hippolytus, eh? Well done.

(Masturbation and catharsis might have been too obvious, but I'll bet it would've been fun if you hadn't had to write the paper during an all-nighter. [Smile] )

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kenmeer livermaile
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Noble Hunter, perhaps you share my allergy to unexamined dogma?
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scouser1
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Is it just me that think Freddie Mercury was a fabulously talented and amazing individual?
I mean, he had a whole concert as a tribute to him, how many pop stars that have died have had that?

Always loved it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCRawbdIhfI

[ May 06, 2009, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: scouser1 ]

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kenmeer livermaile
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There seems to be a spate of interest of late in ascribing motive to my online persona (which is very much a true image of whom I am or try to be or think I am or am told so by the voices in my head).

The gestalt complex would be daunting and dull, I'm sure, but I think a good grasp on this persona can be obtained from the sound of this man's voice here and the lyrics he delivers in these four songs (those harder to hear provided in text):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po47SNloMBg authority

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtndOhSMpHs

Some people ain't no damn good
You can't trust 'em
You can't love em
No good deed goes unpunished
And I don't mind being their whipping boy
I've had that pleasure
For years and years
No, no I never was a sinner
Tell me what else can I do
Second best is what you get
'Til you learn to bend the rules
Time respects no person
And when you lift up must fall
They're waiting outside
To claim my crumblin' walls

Saw my picture in the paper
Read the news around my face
And now some people
Don't want to treat me the same

When the walls
Come tumblin' down

Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy
That I'm uneducated
And my opinion means NUTS!!!
But I know I'm a real good dancer
Don't need to look over my shoulder
To see what I'm after
Everybody's got their problems
Ain't no new news here
I'm the same old trouble
You've been having for years
Don't confuse the problem
With the issue, girl
It's perfectly clear
Just a human desire
To have you come near
Want to put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me
You can break me
But you better stand clear

When the walls..

Want to put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me
You can break me
But you better stand clear

When the walls
Come tumblin' down
When the walls
Come crumblin', crumblin'
When the walls
Come tumblin', tumblin'
Crumblin', tumblin'


(sadly, youtube hath not 'Warmer Place to Sleep' which is my fave of all three of these John Cougar Mellencamp songs)

lyrics:

Well I've been up to the mountain
Seen the ashes down below
I had breakfast with the wise man
He told me what he thought I should know
And I've been to bed with Jezebel
And I found the well was deep
And I'd trade in my ambitions
For a warmer place to sleep

Well I've seen the heart of darkness
Read the writing on the wall
And the voice out in the desert
Was the voice I heard out in the hall
And once he called me Abel
And once he called me Cain
And for forty days and forty nights
I slept out in the rain

CHORUS:
Girl can you share your warm bed tonight
I need to find a safe retreat
Someplace where they can't see my eyes
I need to find a warmer place to sleep

Well I rested in the devil's arms
I've chased the hounds of hell
I played truth or dare with the angels
And as far as I can tell
That a heart of gold ain't no better
Than a heart torn from the street
And I'd trade in my heart of stone
For a warmer place to sleep

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-vXeO1ImxQ (pink)

(I apologize for the cornball quality of vintage 80s MTVids. What it is.)

The lyrics describe me insomuch as one identifies me with the perspective from which they're sung. Mellencamp and I would agree on a whole lotta stuff.

But most of all, it's the feeling conveyed by his voice, particularly when him hollers. It's a voice better than average by far but still a guy you could recognize, expressing an intense passion, frustration, determination, and unwillingness to accommodate ignorantly ill thought opinions that themselves refuse to consider their own illogic, as well expressed in these lines:

"don't confuse the problem with the issues"

a statement that insists on working itself from both ends toward a solid middle, a double-edged sword, a shotgun that fires both ways at once.

It is not an exaggerated voice like that of, say, the Metallica-through-death-metal continuum that insists on making an absolute and fatalist conviction out of lower throat gutteralism as distorted by far through a microphone pumped through a Marshall stack.

It's the sound of the guy next door hollering, "Well, don't let me stop you from kissing my ass if that's what it takes." It's a sound way more punk than punk which is, after all, just a buncha punks trying to prove their rebel creds, which is a pathetic thing to observe. It's a sound I hear when I leave my front door and leave Beethoven and Basie behind and experience the ever-mind-****ing combination of an inexplicably gorgeous phenomenal reality peopled by hominids all too often insisting on thinking as little as possible and only far enough to satisfy their prejudices first and logical integrity last.

That's me: Don't need to look over my shoulder
To see what I'm after


Coppula eam, se non posit jocularum Alfred E. Newman

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scouser1
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For you Ricky B: Drogba tonight, WHAT THE HELL went on there??
He needs to be banned, full stop. Idiot! [Mad]

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scouser1
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Something that made me shake my head and say "So true, so true".

http://uk.encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/lists/?article=Pointless

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Chael
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1) Nipples on men are not useless.

2) If we had a larger full-stop, we wouldn't need capital letters.

3) I don't think the point of a unicycle is its usefulness as a means of conveyance.

4) Something is not useless just because the average person doesn't care about it. (pasta)

5) Pretty much everything else--no argument!

[ May 06, 2009, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: Chael ]

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Kuato
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Do expand on male-nipple uses?
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Chael
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I'm not sure I can in age-mixed company. [Smile]
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scouser1
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There aint any uses for men's nips, apart from the fact that you can pierce them (and i've been told they hurt a hell of a lot more than if women get it done) and.....well, thats about it.
Oh, if they strong enough maybe you can put a chain through both and swing off them?
Oh no, reminds me of a sick scene in a film...
(Why does everything remind me of something I see on tv or in films?? Need to watch less tv methinks. And why are we talkin about body parts again?? [LOL] )

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Lina Inverse
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Sheesh, did Encarta turn into Cracked when I wasn't looking?

(Some men actually can breastfeed. And no, you can never un-read that statement.)

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OpsanusTau
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I have a use for male nipples.

Just saying.

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scouser1
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Since the 18th century we've known that men could breastfeed. If a baby loses its mother very early on, through trauma for the child he can lactate. All the "mechanics" are there.
But lets face it, how many men are gonna start doin that just to get a use out of their nipples?

OT, spill!! No secrets from fellow Ornerians now [Big Grin]

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OpsanusTau
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Well, I think really you just need to ask the male of interest what HE would like you to do with his nipples.

There's a lot of nerve endings in there, is all I'm saying.

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NobleHunter
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I totally agree with the uses of the male nipples. Although, not all of them apparently.

And four-poster beds? There's a reason they're still popular [Wink]

To KL: Yes, though the UU examine their dogma rigorously. So it might just be dogma, period.

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scouser1
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quote:
Originally posted by OpsanusTau:
Well, I think really you just need to ask the male of interest what HE would like you to do with his nipples.

There's a lot of nerve endings in there, is all I'm saying.

[Eek!]
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Kuato
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males lactating----

how many men have sufficient love for a baby to subject themselves to the long-term effects that the process of lactating a baby would leave on their physical bodies? that's a toughie.

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Lina Inverse
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I see you've never put "male breastfeeding" into the Youtube search engine.
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