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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Humorous misattributions (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Humorous misattributions
edgmatt
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At the risk of being distasteful....

"To be or not to be..." - any suicide bomber

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edgmatt
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"He who knows and knows he knows is wise; follow him.
He who knows and knows not he knows is asleep; wake him.
He who knows not and knows he knows not is humble; teach him.
He who knows not and knows not he knows not is a fool; avoid him." - Cast of Jersey Shore

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Aris Katsaris
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quote:
"To be or not to be..." - any suicide bomber
I'd say this is more fitting than humorous: the original quote is already about suicide, so it's not much of a juxtaposition.
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Aris Katsaris
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On the other hand:

"To be or not to be, that is the question." - Schroedinger's cat.

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yossarian22c
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quote:
Originally posted by Aris Katsaris:
On the other hand:

"To be or not to be, that is the question." - Schroedinger's cat.

[LOL]
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seekingprometheus
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And the "No he di-int!" prize goes to scifi. [LOL]

Schroedinger's cat is good.

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Jordan
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Confucius is a great source of misattributable quotes.

"Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it."—Fred Phelps

"Respect yourself and others will respect you."—Paris Hilton

"When anger rises, think of the consequences."—Adolph Hitler

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scifibum
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"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."
--Ayn Rand.

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Al Wessex
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"Life is a Cabaret"

Carrie Nation

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scifibum
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"It is what it is."
--Werner Heisenberg

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Al Wessex
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Werner and Erwin's cat are lapping the field on this thread! [Smile]
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PSRT
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"There is no harm in doubt and skepticism, for it is through these that new discoveries are made."
-Descartes

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Individual Persona
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never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.
-Steve Jobs


Wax on, wax off
-Pamela Anderson

Never,never,never,never,never give up.
-Sylvester Stallone after releasing yet another Rocky film

And you all will hate me for this...

Look before you leap.
-Hellen Keller

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Al Wessex
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"I improve on misquotation."
George Bush

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stayne
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"Skinning a bear should aggro every bears
in a 40 yard radius. It makes sense, you are actually skinning their best friend."

Rep. Hank Johnson (D) Ga

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Al Wessex
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"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat."

Pat Robertson

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Chael
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"Love conquers all." --Helen of Troy

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” --M. Gandhi

[ July 31, 2010, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: Chael ]

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TommySama
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quote:
Originally posted by Al Wessex:
"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat."

Pat Robertson

Like.

"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." - Hilary Clinton

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Serotonin'sGone
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Brilliant thread.

"Let them eat cake..."
--Mahatma Gandhi

"Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die."
Warren Buffet

"I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act"
Stephen Hawking

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
Bernie Madoff

"I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny...."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Sometimes I just really need a good snuggle."
George Patton

Alright, not a real quote, but the thought amused me. I was also on the fence on who to attribute "let the eat cake" to. I was highly tempted to use Kim Jung-il.

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cherrypoptart
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Live long and prosper. \\//_

- Jack Kavorkian

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cherrypoptart
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Can't we all just get along?

-- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

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Al Wessex
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"But how do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values, which then become subject to unexpected and prolonged contractions as they have in Japan over the past decade?"

Lady Gaga

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scifibum
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That one made me laugh, Al.
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JWatts
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quote:
Originally posted by Al Wessex:
"But how do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values, which then become subject to unexpected and prolonged contractions as they have in Japan over the past decade?"

Lady Gaga

[Big Grin]
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Al Wessex
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"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Alan Greenspan*

Back when Alan Greenspan was a young man, around 1600 or so, protest meant to testify [Smile] .

[ August 03, 2010, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: Al Wessex ]

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0Megabyte
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Question: What is the best thing in life?

Answer: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!"

Mister Rogers

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TommySama
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"I got involved in cocaine because I needed to lose weight. I felt the pressure living here. I took it to wake me up and keep me moving." - Jarrod, from Subway.
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Al Wessex
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"I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some."

Paris Hilton

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Pete at Home
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quote:
Pure, unstained religion is to take care of orphans and widows when they suffer and to remain uncorrupted by this world.
-Richard Dawkins
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edgmatt
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"With great power comes great responsibility." - Kim Jong Il
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Al Wessex
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==>""Anger dwells in the boson of fools."--Mel Gibson "

I know it's a typo, but this would have worked well as a quote from Ahmadinejad.

We should have a thread on misquotes, with a premium on single letter substitutions.

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JWatts
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quote:
I mean, this is a time to remind America that some of the best beaches in the world are here. And this is probably the best time for people to bring their kids down, the best year, because you do a few things, you get to see a part of the country, you get to help an economic area, and it’s really nice and hot down here.
-Michelle Obama (referring to Spain, of course)
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Jordan
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JWatts, that's creepily fitting.
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Lobo
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"Enough is as good as a feast." --Rosanne Barr
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scifibum
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"Easy come, easy go."
--Jean Valjean.

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Lobo
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"I believe in the religion of Islam. I believe in Allah and peace." --Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
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edgmatt
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"Make Love not War" - Sun Tzu
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edgmatt
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A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. - Hulk Hogan
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JWatts
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Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition. -Nancy Reagan
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edgmatt
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If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow. -Lorena Bobbitt
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