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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Foolish and Backward Nation

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JWatts
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A satirical take on America from a Chinese perspective:

quote:


Don't Go to the U.S., A Foolish and Backward Nation

I've already been in the U.S. for a long time. I regret that choice. We've been [fooled] by Western media the whole time, making us think that the U.S. is a modernized country. Harboring hopes of studying American modern science in order to serve my motherland, I moved heaven and earth in order to make it over to this "superpower." But the result has been very disappointing!

(1) The U.S. is actually a giant, undeveloped farming village. In middle school, teachers teach students that the more developed industry gets, the greater harm the natural environment suffers. For example, in an industrial city you should find chimneys everywhere, large factories everywhere, dust everywhere. That's the symbol of industrialization! But the U.S.? You hardly ever see chimneys, occasionally you'll see a few small ones but they're just decorations for houses. Instead there are clear rivers and lakes everywhere, and there aren't even paper factories or steel smelters by the riverbanks. The clean and fresh air is a symbol of primitive society. There's not even a trace of industrialization!

(2) Americans don't understand economics. Highways extend in all directions, seemingly reaching every village, but there are hardly any toll stations! What a tremendous waste of a gigantic business opportunity! I can barely keep myself from grabbing some cement and building a few toll stations; within one month I'll definitely make enough money to buy a house with a view of the Atlantic Ocean. Also, by the side of the highway you can see quiet and undeveloped lakes. The government allows waterbirds to freely settle and poop wherever they want, neglecting even to open a scenic garden with a lake view in order to make some serious money. It's clear Americans have no head for economics.
....
(9) American public opinion is nuts. Sometimes I completely lose patience with their ignorance and foolishness. For example, when they learned that China has television stations and newspapers, they actually ignorantly ask me, "China has a newspaper?!" That's really outrageous; we not only have Chinese-language newspapers, they are meticulously produced by our Ministry of Propaganda; looking at our newspapers is like listening to a hymn, it's nothing like American newspapers with their messy public opinions, even daring to insult the U.S. President by name...[in China] we don't publicize the leaders' scandals; after that, who would want to be a leader? ...

(10) Americans are spiritually empty. What I can't stand is: The majority of Americans say grace before each meal, and naively say "God bless America." Ridiculous; if God blessed America, how did America get this backwards, this primitive, how did Americans get so simple and primitive? What's the use of praising God? It would be more practical to spend that time praising your boss! That's the modern way! ...

The Atlantic
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JoshCrow
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I notice the piece dubiously avoids the REAL punch line of who owes whom lots and lots of money.

This list is really hit-or-miss. It probably has the most appeal to someone who is fiercely patriotic and/or insecure. A few of them ring true as critiques of China, but others are somewhat questionable.

At least it's (I think) an example of that rare thing, "conservative comedy".

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JWatts
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You do understand that it was written by a Chinese National, right? That's it's actually a satirical criticism of China?

That's why I lead with, A satirical take on America from a Chinese perspective

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Pete at Home
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Ah! Now that makes sense. I was trying to revise my entire world view to encompass the concept of a white American conservative that could so masterfully captured the voice of a Chinese bigot ...
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Pete at Home
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"(10) Americans are spiritually empty. What I can't stand is: The majority of Americans say grace before each meal, and naively say "God bless America." Ridiculous; if God blessed America, how did America get this backwards, this primitive, how did Americans get so simple and primitive? What's the use of praising God? It would be more practical to spend that time praising your boss! That's the modern way!"

You have to know something about Chinese culture and Chinese restaurant etiquette to see where that one is coming from ...

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