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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Ides of March 2013 Family Divorce Date Night

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Author Topic: Ides of March 2013 Family Divorce Date Night
Pete at Home
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Exie picked me up from rehab at 10 AM and brought me to her house so that we could work on re-writing the Judge’s decree of Divorce and some other docs that the court had objected to. Exie asks me if I think it’s bad luck to finalize our divorce on the Ides of March. I say it seems perfectly appropriate, unless she wants to wait until September 11. She declines, so we proceed.

By 11:30, we had rewritten my affidavit and downloaded the sample Nevada decree of divorce form to re-write, when Thing Two’s school called, wanting us to come pick Thing Two up ASAP. This was no surprise, as it happens two or three times a week. Usually because he bites someone, or hits himself too hard. They have spare diapers and clothing there for other severely disabled kids in the class, and have bathing facilities on site, but sometimes Thing Two’s explosive diarrhea is too much for them.

As we pull up to the school, Exie mentions that the Special Olympics are next week. “I hate the Special Olympics,” she says. “They won’t stop yelling at me to keep Thing Two under control. I’m keeping him home.”

Thing Two is too special for the Special Olympics.

Thing Two has a wry grin on his face when we pick him up. I don’t smell any feces, so I ask if he’s bitten someone. The teacher flushes, and with some awkwardness, explains that Thing Two had a diaper that required a bath, but as they bathed him Thing Two developed a raging boner, and the teachers felt it would not be “appropriate” for them to bathe him in that condition.

Someone should tell God that it’s not appropriate to leave a 2-year old mind in a 12 year old body.

The teacher was nice, said we should feel free to bring Thing Two back later. Exie and I managed to contain our laughter until we reached the car. Exie starts singing “Hot for Teacher,” soto voce.

“I want French Fries,” Thing Two informs us.

Money’s a bit tight to buy Thing Two French fries, so we head back to Exie’s house. I feed and wash Thing Two up, while Exie heads upstairs to work on her affidavit.

Mail comes, and there’s a $90 check for me, forwarded from Las Vegas. Apparently I won some class action lawsuit against my former life insurance company. Looks like Thing Two’s getting his French Fries today, and Thing Three is getting some belated birthday presents. Exie picks out a Shelob lego set at Target, and I pick a water balloon catapult. I also grab three $1.50 water pistols, and quadrille paper for tomorrow’s D&D game. “Just the bare essentials, it’s the last of our dough,” quips Exie.

There are very few occasions that don’t warrant a quote from Dumb and Dumber.

There’s some money left over, we’re hungry, and Chick Fil A’s in the parking lot across from Target. There’s no Chick Fil A in Vegas, so I’ve never been there. Exie recommends the experience, so we split a Southwest Tortilla soup.

Thing Three’s not due until 4 PM, so we head to the used bookstore, 2nd and Charles. Probably the only used bookstore in the world with aisles so wide that Thing Two can’t grab things from his wheelchair, if we’re careful. Exie picks up “Blades of Glory,” and I pick up a water color pen set for tomorrow’s game from the dollar store next-door.

The remaining 44 dollars go straight into Exie’s gas tank.

Exie heads to drop me back at rehab, but Thing Two is acting up, and I suggest that I stay around to help contain him until she picks Thing One up. She agrees. Back to Exie’s house as the bus drops off Thing Three. I pin Thing Two’s hands to keep him from clawing at me and Thing Three, so Thing Two starts pounding me with his head. I turn my back, and ask him to thump a little to the left. Ah, that’s the spot. Thing Three laughs, and Thing Two is starting to grin, pounding me happily instead of angrily.

“Don’t encourage him,” says Exie. “Or he’ll start doing that to other people when he’s in a good mood.”

True enough. Some improvisations have that kind of blowback.

I draw out a color map on quadrille paper. Just as I’m finishing up, it’s time to pick up Thing One and Cousin at Drama class.

In the car, Thing Three studies my map furiously. “Which of these is the Lap River,” he asks?

“The smaller one.”

Cousin calls Exie’s cell phone as we approach. Are we there yet?

Thing One and Cousin climb into the car, with some argument over who has to sit by Thing Two. I ask Cousin if he can run me a photocopy of the map, so Thing One can study it to position his troops for tomorrow’s game. Cousin agrees, but he’s dismayed that we’ve progressed so far in the game since he last joined us. He asks about the map, and Exie brings him up to date:

“Thing Three convinced us and Lord Ysling to rebel against the count, and we’ve got the support of a goblin corporation; we have about 150 troops with muskets. Last Saturday we captured Frey’sport. Now we have to hold the city until Lord Ysling’s troops arrive. We think we’re going to be attacked by 150 armored polar bear mercenaries.

(I don’t mind shamelessly stealing from Phillip Pullman since he stole the whole concept of our Liahona to make his “Golden Compass.”)

Cousin gets me the photocopy, and Thing One and Thing Three get out with him. They are spending the night and Cousin’s house. I ask Exie if we can finish off the papers. Might as well, she says, it’s the ides of March.

She finishes off her affidavit, while I feed Thing Two and wind him down to bed. Then Exie watches Blades of Glory, while I watch her watching Blades of Glory. I’ve always loved to watch her laugh. Half-way through the show I move upstairs under the pretext of looking over her work so I can watch her without knowing. She laughs harder when she's not self-concious.

The evening’s over, and I’m heading back to rehab.

[ March 15, 2013, 09:48 PM: Message edited by: Pete at Home ]

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PSRT
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I can't believe that they sent Thing Two home over an erection. My wife used to work residential, and for a while she was working with 18-20 year old men. One of her students would ask for bed because he wanted to beat off about her. Because of his program, she couldn't deny that to him if he asked appropriately, and, his door had to always be open with a staff member able to see him... quite a bit worse than what this teacher of Thing Two's experienced. Sounds like he's in a different sort of program, of course, but dealing with sexual arousal is supposed to be part of the job, if they're doing the job right.
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Pete at Home
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Thank you for the feedback. I did not realize you're married, PSRT. Congradulations.

Was the residential facility public? If so maybe we should move to MA.

[ March 15, 2013, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Pete at Home ]

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PSRT
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A school for children with severe autism. She worked in the residential unit.
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PSRT
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http://www.necc.org/
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Pete at Home
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I meant the writing to be funny. Is it too painful to be funny? Kind of funny I've been posting here since thing 2 was just a baby.
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scifibum
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It's a little painful, Pete, and that makes it hard to laugh. But I'm glad you're laughing, sometimes. You seem to have a much better working relationship with your ex than I do with mine, and I admire you for being there for your family to the extent you can.
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Pete at Home
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Sheer necessity re Thing 2 force Exie to deal with me, and some days are better than others.

I talked to thing 3 today by phone, and he asked what I was doing. The usual, i told him. Burning stuff.

"What stuff" he asked, suddenly interested.

Wood, pine needles, leaves.

Oh, he says, dissapointed. I thought maybe you were burning the divorce papers.

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Funean
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It is funny, Pete, but poignant. I'm glad you endeavor to choose laughter when faced with the choice between that or tears.

I can't believe Thing 2 is 12.

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Pete at Home
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As a footnote, I ran out of D&D adventure ideas for this morning, so we used the $10 water balloon catapult I bought on March 15, and then when we ran out of balloons, we launched a rooster. Wish I'd caught it on film. Rooster seemed to like the attention, but not the flying so much. No harm, the area's nice and soft and grassy.
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KidTokyo
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Pete, you've got a lot to contend with. It's good that you feel you can share this part of your life with us. I'm sorry I lost patience with you last week.
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hobsen
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Parenting a severely handicapped child usually destroys a marriage, and no couple escapes without severe scars. You and your wife seem to be handling it better than most, and laughter is better than tears. I wish all of you well.
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Pete at Home
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about handling it ... an update, cross-posted to misc chat 2:

Thing 2 was institutionalized 20 days ago. 6 days ago the institution decided to dump him.

EXIE was institutionalized 5 days ago.

I have lost both telephone and internet access, but will try to check in here and email weekly from a public library in a nearby town.

Thing 1 and thing 3 are with relatives. I see them often, fortunately. They visit me.

Sad thing is that given our circumstances with Thing Two, I think Hobsen's still right that we're handling it better than most. This is the worst time since the early part of the great depression to have a child that is both inarticulate and psychotic. The resources available are a complete joke. Other couples with similar kids have split and run from the kids. At least two families we know of have committed suicide together. That's not in our game plan. While there's life there's hope.

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RedVW on a Laptop
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Pete contact me. Sent you my phone number
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