Ornery.org
  Front Page   |   About Ornery.org   |   World Watch   |   Guest Essays   |   Contact Us

The Ornery American Forum Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » John Kerry or C-3PO: you decide

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: John Kerry or C-3PO: you decide
ATW
Member
Member # 1690

 - posted      Profile for ATW   Email ATW   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Here's some quotes. You decide which one is Kerry and which one is C-3PO of Star Wars fame


1) "We'll be destroyed for sure! This is madness! We're doomed."

2) "I will make very different choices in the war"

3) "Don't you call me a mindless philosopher"

4) "We need to end this confusion"

5) "As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on."

6) "I have a comprehensive strategy for victory"

7) "Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about?"

8) "Smoking is very bad for your lungs and does dreadful things to your heart."

9) "Help! I think I'm melting! This is all your fault!"

10) "How did we get into this mess? I really don't know how."

11) "Where do you think you're going? Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too rocky. This way is much easier." (Kerry in Afghanistan? C-3PO on Tatooine?)

12) "Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances."

13) "No, I don't think he likes you at all. No, I don't like you either."

14) "What mission? What are you talking about? I've just about had enough of you! Go that way!"

15) "don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it!"

15) "I have a new strategy - Let the Wookie win."

16) "No more adventures!"

Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RickyB
Member
Member # 1464

 - posted      Profile for RickyB   Email RickyB   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guh-huw!
Posts: 19145 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pseudoCode
Member
Member # 771

 - posted      Profile for pseudoCode     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I like it.. some of the C3PO ones are too easy to guess though.. [Smile]
Posts: 314 | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ron Lambert
Member
Member # 682

 - posted      Profile for Ron Lambert   Email Ron Lambert   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think that Kerry has yet mentioned Wookies, but otherwise, he could reasonably have said any of the other things, at least by implication. I really doubt that he even knows what planet he's on.
Posts: 2645 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RickyB
Member
Member # 1464

 - posted      Profile for RickyB   Email RickyB   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guh-Huw!
Posts: 19145 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tezcatlipoca
Member
Member # 1312

 - posted      Profile for Tezcatlipoca     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Im suprised. I thought there would be Darth Vader quotes about conquering the Galaxy as Father and Son for George Bush.
Posts: 1272 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Everard
unregistered


 - posted            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, since, on hatrack, a thread like this got flamed by Kristine Card and subsequently locked when it attacked Bush....
IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pete at Home
Member
Member # 429

 - posted      Profile for Pete at Home   Email Pete at Home   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm impressed, ATW.

FYI, here's how I would frame it:

quote:
I had a little computer crash, and I managed to salvage part of my little database of treasured quotes that I've been gathering over the last 25 years. I managed to attribute most of them, but I'm having a hard time with the last 16 of them. I can't figure out which ones are from John Kerry, and which ones are from C-3P0, of Star Wars fame. Can anyone help me out?

1) "We'll be destroyed for sure! This is madness! We're doomed."

2) "I will make very different choices in the war"

etc.


Posts: 44193 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ATW
Member
Member # 1690

 - posted      Profile for ATW   Email ATW   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Everard:
Well, since, on hatrack, a thread like this got flamed by Kristine Card and subsequently locked when it attacked Bush....

Then I'd be forced to conclude the denizens of hatrack are seriously deficient of humor.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
musket
Member
Member # 552

 - posted      Profile for musket         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
On the other hand, not much question about who said all this--


quote:
"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."

"But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe."

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."

"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them."

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

"When you have your own money, it means you've got more money to spend".

"The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial"

"We're in for a long struggle, and I think Texans understand that. And so do Americans".

"And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything"

"We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end"

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better"

"I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war"

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well"

"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test"

"No, I know all the war rhetoric, but it's all aimed at achieving peace"

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right".

"Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes."

"Our nation must come together to unite"

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end."

"My pro-life position is I believe there's life. It's not necessarily based in religion. I think there's a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness."

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment."

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I'm the dictator..."

"They misunderestimated me."

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."

"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun."

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question"

"The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming."

"This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases."

"I did denounce it. I de-I denounced it. I denounced interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry."

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."

"We ought to make the pie higher."

"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."

"We won't raise trade terriers."

"The important question is - How many hands have I shaked?"

"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember."

"There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"


Posts: 1524 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RickyB
Member
Member # 1464

 - posted      Profile for RickyB   Email RickyB   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
As long as we're making pies higher, can I be a pie? [Big Grin]
Posts: 19145 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
towellman
Member
Member # 1462

 - posted      Profile for towellman   Email towellman   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
lol, enjoyed the Bush comments more than the Kerry ones. Although the comparison of Kerry to an indecisive fretful robot is pretty good. C3Po lacks the single core value that I can elucidate out of Kerry's bio: ambition.

I want a "trade terrier"!!

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Serotonin'sGone
Member
Member # 1219

 - posted      Profile for Serotonin'sGone   Email Serotonin'sGone   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The emperor or GW? you decide....

quote:
1. "Your friends have failed!"

2. "As a matter of common sense and self-defense, [we] will act against such emerging threats before they are fully formed."

3. "If we have reason to believe someone is preparing an attack against the [Republic or U.S.], has developed that capability, harbors those aspirations, then I think the [Republic or U.S.] is justified in dealing with that, if necessary, by military force."

4. "The [Republic or Nation] is not what it once was—the Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates. There is no interest in the common good."

5. "That will be part of the resolution, authorization of use of force. If you want to keep the peace, you've got to have the authorization to use force."

6. "Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station."

7. "If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed."

8. "You will pay the price for your lack of vision."

9. "Delaying a vote in [Congress or Senate] would send a message that the [Republic or U.S.] may be unprepared to take a stand, just as we are asking the [international community or universe] to take a stand."

10. "My [country or planet] will continue to encourage all parties to step up to their responsibilities as we seek a just and comprehensive settlement to the conflict."

11. "I will not let this [Republic or Nation]... be split in two. My negotiations will not fail."

12. "We cannot stand by and do nothing while dangers gather. We must stand up for our security and for the permanent rights and the hopes of mankind."

13. "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy, I love the [Republic or United States of America]. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated."

14. "The [chancellor or president] is authorized to all means that he determines to be appropriate, including force."

edit: credit goes to www.mcsweeneys.net

[ September 27, 2004, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: Serotonin'sGone ]

Posts: 1117 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
vulture
Member
Member # 84

 - posted      Profile for vulture   Email vulture   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
LOL Nice one SG
Posts: 1768 | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OrneryMod
Administrator
Member # 977

 - posted      Profile for OrneryMod   Email OrneryMod   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In all fairness to Kristine Card at Hatrack, the thread that got deleted compared Bush to Hitler, and that is what bothered her the most, IMHO.

OrneryMod

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaoics79
Member
Member # 969

 - posted      Profile for Gaoics79   Email Gaoics79   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This thread would have been alot funnier if it were actually possible to mistake a C-3PO quote for a Kerry quote...
Posts: 7629 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Serotonin'sGone
Member
Member # 1219

 - posted      Profile for Serotonin'sGone   Email Serotonin'sGone   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
which is why the emperor one is so much better. btw, the correct answers are:
Palpatine: 1,4,6,7,8,11,13
Bush: 2,3,5,9,10,12,14

Posts: 1117 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
javelin
Member
Member # 1284

 - posted      Profile for javelin   Email javelin   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Typical liberal [Wink] - thinks everyone is too stupid to figure it out for themselves [Smile]
Posts: 8614 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Wayward Son
Member
Member # 210

 - posted      Profile for Wayward Son   Email Wayward Son   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You have to forgive the liberals, javelin. After all, they have so much experience with conservatives being unable to do just that. [Razz]

(Sorry--I just couldn't resist the Dark Side. [Big Grin] )

[ September 27, 2004, 11:28 AM: Message edited by: Wayward Son ]

Posts: 8681 | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ATW
Member
Member # 1690

 - posted      Profile for ATW   Email ATW   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by jasonr:
This thread would have been alot funnier if it were actually possible to mistake a C-3PO quote for a Kerry quote...

I think its entirely possible. After all, no one has yet tried.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Weeder
Member
Member # 1046

 - posted      Profile for Weeder     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OK, I'll try to mistake a C-3PO quote for a Kerry quote. Just don't misunderestimate me. [Smile]

"I have a new strategy - Let the [Bushy-looking guy] win."
[Razz]

[ September 27, 2004, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: Weeder ]

Posts: 270 | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tezcatlipoca
Member
Member # 1312

 - posted      Profile for Tezcatlipoca     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station.
WRONG. The Emperor says "Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will, Commander."

You StarWars geek traitor. Go throw yourself in the Sarlacc for what you have done, and be happy I don't choke you.

[Smile]

Posts: 1272 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lewkowski
Member
Member # 2028

 - posted      Profile for Lewkowski   Email Lewkowski       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So uh where are the answers found? I'm curious.
Posts: 890 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pseudoCode
Member
Member # 771

 - posted      Profile for pseudoCode     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:

"Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station."

Man, it would be sooooo cool to hear Bush say that in a speech right before the death rays started raining down from space on the terrorist scum [Razz] .
Posts: 314 | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Ornery.org Front Page

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.1