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Author Topic: Future Tense 2025
ATW
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The year is 2025. You are a movie producer wanting to tap into a nostaglia craze and also prove people will pay to watch anything no matter how bad.

All copyrights and trademarks have been eliminated. Any deceased actors will be computer animated.

Combine two former movies and/or TV series for one blockbuster event.


1) Cool Runnings: The Extra-Terrestrial

The Jamaican bobsled team is off on a wild and crazy ride when they replace their anchor with an E.T. whose only desire is to go home.

2) Bay Trek

The beaches of Risa have never been safer since Starfleet's new lifeguard program has gone into effect.

3) Star Wars: Friends Strike Back

Ross adopts a Wookie saying it looks like Marcel. Joey lands a job doing Public Service Announcements for Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Meanwhile, Rachael dates a Jedi who has found an interesting new application for the Force.

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Everard
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The lord of the muppets: Return of the Frog.

Kermit rides to the aid of gondor, while Miss Piggy and Gonzo scale mt. Doom.

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ATW
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Ouch. Which one is the Ringbearer?


Matrix: The Teletubby Conspiracy

Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse of the Seven Gables

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The Drake
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Bright Lights, Big Sex in the City

Michael J Fox character develops drug dependency and gossips with friends about their altered state sexual encounters.

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Zyne
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Survivor: Futurama versus Gilligan.

After a three-lighthour tour, Fry, Leela and Bender are stranded on an inhospitable moon along with Gilligan, Mary Ann, Ginger, the Professor and the Skipper, where they will compete in feats of strength, dexterity and courage while eating bugs.

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ATW
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Star Trek Voyager: Homeward Bound

Featuring the voices of Michael J. Fox (Chance the dog), Don Ameche (Shadow the dog) and Sally Field (Sassy the cat).

Three irrepressible pets are stuck on a Starfleet vessel which is thrown to the other side of the galaxy. Caught between Starfleet and Maquis ethics, the pets must decide who holds the best hope to take them home.

========

Primary Colors of Pokemon

Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu get caught up in the dubious ethics surrounding the presidential campaign of Governor Jack Stanton (John Travolta).

========

West Side Story/COPS

========

My Mother the Space Station

Captain Dave Crabtree (Jerry Van Dyke) is the newly assigned commander of Babylon 5, a five-mile long space station located in neutral space and often referred to as the last best hope for mankind in a hostile universe.

Crabtree anticipates being all alone but to his surprise, his mother has been reincarnated as Babylon 5.

The voice of Dave's mother is provided by actress Ann Sothern and the only person the space station will talk to is Dave.

[ December 01, 2004, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: ATW ]

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WarrsawPact
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Gigli's Glitter - In which Mariah Carey teams up with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck to make the second most irritating, plotless, blight on our culture of all time. Directed by Bruckheimer.

The most irritating remake would be...
Baywatch with the main female roles played by Roseanne, Fran Drescher and Rosie Perez, and the male roles Gilbert Godfried and Bobcat Goldthwait. It might actually be gut-bustingly hilarious for the first ten minutes, after which it would be gut-bustingly nauseating.

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Ivan
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The Last Temptation of Seinfeld- As the Savior of sitcoms, Jerry is taken by reality show producers and tortured while he asks, "What's the deal with everyone wearing crusifixes? Do they think Jesus really wants to be reminded of that?" Meanwhile, George, while conversing with a girl he met over the internet, thrince denies that he is bald, and when Elaine betrays his secret, she is chased accross New York by dogs looking for muttin. Kramer, meanwhile, video tapes Jerry's crusifixion and can be heard laughing in the background with George and Elaine. When God (voice done by Larry David) gets word of this, they are condemend to hell in a disapointing conclusion to the film.
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KonerAtHome
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The Dukes of 90210

Uncle Jesse, having grown tired of his niece and nephews lack of a decent education uses his secret stash of money made by bootlegging moonshine, moves the family to Beverly Hills. Once there he purchases a popular teen hangout, The Peach Pit, enrolls his family in Beverly Hills High and the fun begins. Later Boss Hogg will join the cast as the newly hired principal of BHHS where he will bring in Roscoe P. Coltrain to head up security and Cooter as the new Industrial Arts teacher.

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Hannibal
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god you people are bored are bored!
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Haggis
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Land of the Lost Ark

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones and Chaka as Short Round. Indy battles nazis, sleestaks, Bill Laimbeer and dinosaurs as he searches for the remains of Noah's Ark.

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kelcimer
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DS9: The Shootist

John Wayne, Space Cowboy, comes to Deep Space 9 in the middle of the sixth season to have a Doctor that he trusts confirm for him what he already knows...that he is dieing.

Instead of waiting to die he provokes various unsavory elements into one last shootout so that he may die fighting.

Other shootists: Clint Eastwood, Samual L. Jackson, and Christopher Walken.

The final shootout is in Quarks.
The Duke kills all challangers.
And is only killed when a bartender (not Quark) shoots him in the back.
Nog picks up his fallen gun and kills the stupid bartender and then throws the gun away.

The End.

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WarrsawPact
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The Lord of The Ring

Sauron makes his way back into the world via a creepy videotape that kills everyone who watches it within seven days. Galadriel makes it her mission to decipher the images on the videotape to uncover the secret behind the video, uncovering along the way the tragic story of little Sauron's tormented childhood and untimely death.

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The Drake
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The Outlaw Josey and the Pussycats
(cartoon)

Set during the civil war, Clint Eastwood voices the leader of a banjo-playing quintet on the run from Union forces.


(Land of the Lost Ark -LOL)

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Daruma28
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LMAO....great thead folks!
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Haggis
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Days of Thundercats

A live action setting starring Tom Cruise as Lion O'Trickle, Samuel L. Jackson as Panthro Hogge, Racquel Welch as Dr. Cheetara Lewicki, and Boris Karloff as Mumm-Ra Wheeler. As awful as it sounds.

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Wayward Son
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Sorry to disagree, Haggis, but I did some calculations and proved that it is physically impossible to be as awful as it sounds. [Eek!] [Razz] [Big Grin]
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The Drake
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Fantasy Island of Doctor Moreau

Wealthy people arrive to live out their fantasies, but are instead given genetic mutations.


Sixth Scent of a Woman

Blind man smells dead people. Hoo-aah.

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RickyB
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Anything with Raquel Welch to look at and Samuel L. Jackson to act in can't be all that bad.
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Haggis
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I take it you haven't seen "Mother, Jugs and Speed" or "Sphere".
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stormghost
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I'm late to the party, but...

Renaissance Men in Black: Danny DeVito and Will Smith tame evil aliens by teaching them Shakespeare

A Star Trek is Born: William Shatner reprises the Kris Kristofferson role opposite green-painted Orion slave girl Barbra Striesand

...I know...too little, too late...
G

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