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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » on the internet, no one knows you're a dog. (Page 16)

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Author Topic: on the internet, no one knows you're a dog.
Everard
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In about 20 years, ornery daughters are going to be breaking a lot of hearts.
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Funean
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Indeed! And Ornery parents will be locking doors, keeping that shotgun behind the couch, installing cameras in all the cars...what? Oh, that's just me, then.

TomD, she's gorgeous! Lookit! Golden ringlets!

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Everard
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No no, its me too, Funean. If I have a daughter, I'll be sitting on the porch holding my shotgun every time she goes on a date and isn't home by 9pm
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drewmie
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I think the fathers who were the biggest scammers are going to be sweating the most. We know what guys are like! I guess it's karma (sigh).
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Everard
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Heh. I know what guys are like, but not because I had any success with women [Frown] Mostly because I was always the shoulder that my female friends cried on after their current guy convinced them to have sex, and then left.
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The Drake
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If I had a daughter, I would tell her to dress like a tramp and stay out all night.
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drewmie
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Ev, let me guess. You got the "I wish I could fall for a sweet guy like you" routine. I got that a lot myself. What a load of crap, like who they "fall" in love with is completely beyond their control. Funny that none of them trip and "fall" in love with guys who look like Quasi Moto.
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canadian
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quote:
Originally posted by Funean:
I don't care. I'm all about the prime rib.

What else are you serving?

Eve came from Adam's rib.
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javelin
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Funean is definetely prime [Smile]
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Lisa M.
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But we do have to be careful about the sweet guys, 'cuz they're the ones that turn into crazy passive-agressive stalkers of the "If you won't marry me, I'll kill myself!" variety (after dating for three weeks).

Or maybe that's just my luck with men, I don't know.

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Quaestor
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<groan> [Roll Eyes] wow.....

and lemme guess - "rare" to, eh? [Wink]

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drewmie
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Lisa, not all of us passive-agressive guys are the stalker type. I've always been the martyr type. You know, the kind that mopes around, but defends the girl who dumped me, hence making her look like an even bigger bitch to everyone. [Wink]
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KidA
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quote:
KidA - where in Japan did you go? Like, which island? ('cuz I'm dumb and don't know all the prefectures by heart unless it's Tokyo, Ehime, or Kyoto)

My wife is from the island of Kamagari, in the inland sea between Honshu and Shikoku. The picure was taken in Kinosaki, a hot springs resort town in southern Honshu. We've travelled around...Tokyo, Kyoto, Fukuoka, Kobe, Hiroshima. Since my in-laws live there, I have reason to go as often as possible. It's a wonderful country - I may live there someday (when my Japanese is a kajillion times better than it is now).
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Hannibal
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you will wait with a shut gun, even for a guy like me?
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Lisa M.
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I wish I had reason to go there as often as possible. I was an exchange student in Ehime for six weeks in high school (it's on the Northwestern corner of Shikoku), and it was beautiful there. Absolutely beautiful. And the local food was divine (most of it -- the grapes made me sick for some reason).

I definitely need to go back there at some point.

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OpsanusTau
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quote:
Eve came from Adam's rib.
That's a good trick.
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canadian
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Well, He is a God of Love, after all.
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javelin
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quote:
Originally posted by OpsanusTau:
quote:
Eve came from Adam's rib.
That's a good trick.
It sounds, well, uncomfortable, to me. Glad I'm not a woman... and I would think twice about anyone that could say the "came from Adam's rib" [Eek!]
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Funean
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canadian, you are very naughty.
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Gaoics79
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quote:
I don't care. I'm all about the prime rib.
What else are you serving?

Caprese salad, challah, crescent rolls, blueberry mascarpone cake, and pain au chocolat. This is what you get when you combine an obsessive compulsive personality with a love of baking [Smile]
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javelin
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Are guys invited, jasonr? 'Cause you are making me hungry...
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OpsanusTau
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Mmmmm.

That does sound good.

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Gaoics79
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quote:
Are guys invited, jasonr? 'Cause you are making me hungry...
Everyone is invited. And I'm serious too; this is not a joking invitation. It would be so much fun to actually meet some of you guys (and girls) in person. If any of you people can make it to Toronto, I will book my building's private party room (It has a pool table, kitchen, and dining room, big screen TV, and gazebo) and I will cook a feast.
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Hannibal
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you are all a talkin but when is the eatin?
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Lisa M.
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Challah = love

Also, Toronto is only like two hours away from me by car (during school), but I lack a car. So the only way I can get to this shindig is if one of you has to drive through the Buffalo/Rochester area.

Unfortunately, I don't have access to a good kitchen at school, so I might not be able to make cake. Unless Jason lets me borrow his cooking-place.

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Hannibal
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heh.... toronto is 11 hours by flight [Smile]
and i lack a seven forty seven [Smile]

i guess i'm off the meal, you can send me some food in air mail though

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Gaoics79
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LOL, allow an intruder into my kitchen? Normally I'd say no, but I can compromise if it gets people here [Smile]

I have no car, so I can't drive anyone, sadly. Are there any people who could actually make it? Could this actually work?

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Lisa M.
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Sweet. Do you have a bundt pan? (the rest is simple. Spoons, forks, pastry blender [one of the hand ones], bowls, oven)
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FIJC
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quote:
"Caprese salad, challah, crescent rolls, blueberry mascarpone cake, and pain au chocolat. This is what you get when you combine an obsessive compulsive personality with a love of baking"
You seriously know how to make all of that? That's really cool. I am not good at cooking, but then again, I hate doing it.
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Funean
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YUM!

Actually, an obsessive compulsive personality is exactly what you need for baking. It's much more science-y than plain old cooking.

FIJC, you should try it. Making bread, for example, is very satisfying and it has the right number of semi-fussy little steps. It is a good activity for an afternoon where you are home and have something percolating on the brain, like a problem to solve or a piece of writing to put together, because there are breaks in the action and it's not mentally demanding.

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FIJC
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I think that I would need to buy a cook book for that. I don't own any. Oh, and did I also mention that I hate grocery shopping? [Smile] I only go once a month.

Maybe I'll try it. I would probably need one of my roommates to help out though.

[ August 17, 2005, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: FIJC ]

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Funean
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Internet...INTERNET...I know you have access! [Smile]

There are at least a billion recipes and technique sites online!

Bread is also cool because the ingredients are: yeast, flour, sugar (wee bit), salt (wee bit), milk or water, and maybe butter. Anything else is flavoring or type (like herbs or cheese). And you don't need a pan. Slap a log shape on a cookie sheet and you're golden.

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Gaoics79
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quote:
Sweet. Do you have a bundt pan?
Yeah, it's one of those fancy flower shaped ones I got at Williams Sonoma. (I pretty much live in that store) I bought it originally with Angel Food cake in mind, but this turned out to be totally inappropriate, and impossible to unmold. I still haven't actually used it for anything.

quote:
I think that I would need to buy a cook book for that. I don't own any. Oh, and did I also mention that I hate grocery shopping? [Smile] I only go once a month.
Try starting with something like Williams Sonoma Essentials of Baking. It gives very good explanations of the science of baking, and the quality of the recipes is far superior to anything you find online. It also gives you mass measurements, which will come in handy if you get more serious about baking. I have some good recipes too, if you're interested. My only rule is that you can never, EVER use Baker's brand chocolate for anything.
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Funean
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jasonr, you would enjoy "CookWise," by Shirley Corriher.

She is a former (I think) chemist who became a foodie. It is great geeky stuff, and good recipes besides.

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Gaoics79
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I'll have to put this book on my to buy list. Thanks Funean. LOL, I like her exploding duck. In the precis of her book, that is listed as one of her failures, but I think that would be a really cool recipe. I would call it the Duck Bomb.

Actually, the concept reminds me of this:

Cooking for engineers

I'm also reminded of Baking Illustrated, which apparently uses this woman as a source. (another great book, by the way)

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OpsanusTau
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quote:
My only rule is that you can never, EVER use Baker's brand chocolate for anything.
jason, why not?
(I usually use other brands, but I don't have a Formulated Rule about it)

I personally like my Joy of Cooking as the essential all-around cookbook - though I got the shiny new edition for Christmas and was shocked (shocked!) at how many of my favorite recipes from my grandmother's nineteen-forty edition are missing in the new one. Though the new one has a better balance of different types of international cuisine and interesting things to do with vegetables.

FIJC, there's a fantastic breadmaking book called "Beard on Bread" that is both a good read and totally useful and helpful.

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Lisa M.
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I don't always follow the rules for baking. I wonder what would happen if I did (the recipe I use for the gingerbread cake has all these completely unnecessary steps, like boiling the applesauce/molasses/baking soda concoction before putting it in with the flour et all). Plus, the recipe demands that you use an electric mixer, but mixing it by hand has always worked for me, even if it takes forever.

Then again, the first recipe that I used didn't ask for those things, but then I lost it. Found one with the same ingredients, and mix those instructions with what I remember from the old recipe.

Also a tip: When mixing molasses and applesauce, put the applesauce in the bowl first. It helps mask the smell of the molasses.

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Everard
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Why would you want to mask the smell of molasses? [Smile]
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OpsanusTau
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quote:
I don't always follow the rules for baking.
I think that one of the most important things about Learning To Cook is learning when you can diverge from the recipe (using an electric mixer or a spoon; adding raisins or not) and when you can't (substituting baking soda for powder; using water that's too hot for your yeast).

Lisa, you should post your gingerbread cake recipe.
Yum.

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Gaoics79
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quote:
I think that one of the most important things about Learning To Cook is learning when you can diverge from the recipe (using an electric mixer or a spoon; adding raisins or not) and when you can't (substituting baking soda for powder; using water that's too hot for your yeast).
ACK! Blasphemy. The key to learning to cook may be improvisation. This is death in baking. I know I may sound like a baking nazi, but substituting baking soda for baking powder is NOT ok. Baking soda only activates and produces C02 on contact with an acid, such as buttermilk, unsweetened cocoa, (not dutched) vinegar, or lemon juice, etc... By contrast, baking powder can react with itself to produce the necessary gas. If you substitute baking soda for baking powder in a recipe that doesn't happen to have an acidic component, you're screwed.

quote:
jason, why not?
(I usually use other brands, but I don't have a Formulated Rule about it)

Have you actually tried tasting the stuff? It's inedible. My little sister likes white chocolate. She tried their white chocolate, and spit it out it was so bad. Bakers brand chocolate is to chocolate what spam is to meat. The trouble is, people see the label "Bakers" (which is nothing but a brand name) and they think that this means you should bake with it. Meanwhile, they'll eat Lindt or some other quality brand, not realizing that their recipes would be soooo much better with decent chocolate. If it ain't fit to eat, it ain't fit for baking.
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