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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Sword Control (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Sword Control
Praetorian
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Maybe I'm sick but I actually chuckled when I read this.

The ridiculous part of this all is, at least in my mind, is that where are you going to draw the line? I once knew this guy in high school that swore up and down the best murder weapon would be ice. Forms really nice pointed things in the winter time that would melt should there be enough heat. No murder weapon. Ridiculous? Sure for lots of reasons. But I wonder if it had been murder by ice just what they'd try to outlaw.

People are going to kill each other. It's just the way it is, and no amount of legislation is going to change that. Criminals are pretty creative to boot, which makes me think they'd use whatever they found as a weapon, or else their bare hands.

You could argue that by making it harder to aquire certain things, murder rates would drop and I'd tend to agree but samuria swords? I fail to see this as an epidemic.

Hence my laughter.

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KnightEnder
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The Quickening!
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Athelstan
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Well here's one to make you chuckle

Lawn Darts

quote:
Up until now, we have not been able to supply our Crown Darts sets to the US on account of Lawn Darts being banned there since 1987.

HOWEVER… Great News! US Citizens can now order spare parts FREE to make up themselves and this does not class as a set of Lawn Darts!

Since the launch of our real lawn darts brand Crown Darts, we have had literally hundreds of e-mails from Americans requesting to purchase, only to be disappointed that the company Crown Darts UK LTD held policy to not contravene any US legislation, by selling to customers in the United States.

Research into this legislation highlighted a way around the laws to bring delight to many like-minded Americans who miss not being able to get supply of a lawn dart set. Until now. As from 12th July 2004, the following procedure will not break any US laws.


Could it be that the Land of the Free has banned Darts?
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The Drake
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quote:
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After a recent serious injury caused by a lawn dart, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reissued its warning that lawn darts are banned and should be destroyed. Effective on December 19, 1988, CPSC banned the sale of all lawn darts in the United States. Pointed lawn darts, intended for use in an outdoor game, have been responsible for the deaths of three children. The most recent injury occurred last week in Elkhart, Ind., when a 7-year-old boy suffered a brain injury after a lawn dart pierced his skull.
Once again, the problem being that 7-year-olds shouldn't use lawn darts unsupervised. Not that lawn darts should be banned. Picture the parent stopping the child about to throw the dart toward another kid. Picture them actually teaching the kid to watch what they are doing when they handle a dangerous object. I knew you could.
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IrishTD
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quote:
The ridiculous part of this all is, at least in my mind, is that where are you going to draw the line? I once knew this guy in high school that swore up and down the best murder weapon would be ice. Forms really nice pointed things in the winter time that would melt should there be enough heat. No murder weapon. Ridiculous? Sure for lots of reasons. But I wonder if it had been murder by ice just what they'd try to outlaw.
IIRC, there was a CSI that used dry ice as a "murder weapon". Similar principle involved.
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WarrsawPact
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As a side note: IIRC there has been some invesitgation in the past as to whether an ice bullet could be manufactured that would dissipate after hitting the target -- therefore no identifcation of the gun that fired it.

I'm pretty sure it's an unqualifed No. Not possible.

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A. Alzabo
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quote:
I'm pretty sure it's an unqualifed No. Not possible.
I remember seing something about the CIA having something sorta like an ice bullet. It shot a "sliver" of frozen poison into the target, leaving a tiny entry wound that would be easily missed.

The device wasn't very much like a gun, however, and required exremely close range.

Besides which, I've never understood what kind of deniability an ice bullet gives you.

"This guy was killed by an extremely advanced device, available to only a handful of First-World nations! What a mystery!".

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Joe Schmoe
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quote:
Originally posted by A. Alzabo:
quote:
So, a samurai sword is a WMD now?
Only in the hands of a true master -- silent but deadly!

Agreed. Only a master such as Chuck Norris or a real Ninja could turn a sword into a WMD.
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philnotfil
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That Chuck Norris link was awesome.
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A. Alzabo
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quote:
That Chuck Norris link was awesome.
Indeed, Chuck Norris is a WMD. With or without a sword.
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Wayward Son
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Actually, he's a WMMD (Weapon of Mass Media Destruction).
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Praetorian
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I couldn't stop laughing at the chuck norris doesn't tea bag the ladies one...
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Praetorian
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Okay, I laughed my head off at the ninja site too. Holy cow, where did you find those two gems?
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Adam Lassek
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quote:
As a side note: IIRC there has been some invesitgation in the past as to whether an ice bullet could be manufactured that would dissipate after hitting the target -- therefore no identifcation of the gun that fired it.

Mythbusters did an episode about the ice bullet. The gases that propel the bullet evaporate the ice into steam almost instantly.
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WarrsawPact
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Another funny list (I think so, anyway):

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Does it say too much about me, that I'm bringing up that site...?

[ January 22, 2006, 04:56 AM: Message edited by: WarrsawPact ]

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SwampJedi
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quote:
Originally posted by flydye45:

Traditional chinese knives are these cleaver like affairs. I believe that was tradition from the Mongols, who had all kinds of mandates on knife restrictions (numbers per household etc) which continued due to...tradition? So don't laugh.

I love my Chinese cleaver and santoku. They're much more useful than the pointy 'American' chef knife, especially the santoku.

I need to look this information up. I wonder why they had this restriction? To keep people from rebelling and carving each other up?

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Redskullvw
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OMG I havent laughed so hard in months. The Ninja site is simply the most seductively idiotic site I have ever visited.
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The Drake
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quote:

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninjas?

A: Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.

Dear God. My mind nearly blew a fuse trying to parse that.
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Joe Schmoe
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Glad you all found those sites amusing too. [Big Grin]
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