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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Ornery Smoking Strawpoll (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Ornery Smoking Strawpoll
Cytania
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Just one line saying if you smoke or have smoked (maybe some indication of number, 30 a day etc.), mine is;

Non-smoker, no history beyond 1 cigarette in school bike shed!

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FiredrakeRAGE
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No.
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Hannibal
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No, Never, not in a million years
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Fel2.0
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Non-smoker. Was around three cigs a day for a year in college.
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Kit
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Never have, don't plan on starting.
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sfallmann
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Smoked for 10 years then quit 3 years ago. I'll never go back.
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TomDavidson
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Nope.
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Wayward Son
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Never smoked straw, never will.

Or anything else.

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cperry
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Smoked cigarettes occasionally in college and a year after, less than 1 pack/week. Smoke occasionally if drinking or at reunions or funerals.
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WarrsawPact
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Never smoked, never will.
Also consider it a turn-off.

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javelin
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I've never smoked anything.
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ngthagg
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Never have, never will.
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canadian
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I have a collection of pipes that I enjoy once in a while (about once a month or so, usually when the conditions are picture perfect). Never inhaled, though. However, the tobacco is much different than you would find in cigarrettes.

Also, even fewer and farther between: cigars.

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Richard Dey
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Chain-smoker for 50 years -- except when having a cigar.
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canadian
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Richard, you would get along famously with my mom.
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A. Alzabo
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Only cigars.
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The Drake
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I feel I must post this Onion commentary in its entirety.

quote:
Some guys brag that they only smoke weed. Powerful people often only smoke Cuban cigars. A lot of cigarette smokers are proud of their brand loyalty. Some smoke only herbal cigarettes. Others smoke only Indian beedies. Why's everyone so picky? I don't understand. Me? I'll smoke anything!

I have a test to decide whether I'm willing to smoke something. It goes like this: Will this potential thing to be smoked put me in a pipe and smoke me? No? Then I'm smoking it! Because you have to smoke them before they smoke you! That's what I've learned! That's what I practice!

As a kid, I smoked twigs. Why not? The authorities today are all up in arms about kids smoking trees, because they think wood is a "gateway smoke" that will lead children to smoking other, more serious things. Damn right it's a gateway! That's why it should be encouraged! It's a gateway to clarity! A gateway to self-reliance! A gateway to smokin'!

Sure, I bought candy cigarettes as a kid. And you know what? I smoked those things! I bought gum cigarettes. And I smoked those! They didn't influence me to smoke regular cigarettes: Candy items are perfectly smokable on their own! Everything is!

The smart people I know all love "the classics." "The Iliad is such a great story," they say. "Did you ever read Dickens?" No, but I smoked him!

I used to feel like I wasn't familiar enough with the great works of civilization. So I got all the great books they would let me check out of the local library, tore them up, put the pieces into brown paper grocery bags, and rolled those bags into seven monster cigars. And I smoked them! They had a sweet and ambitious flavor! I smoked the history of the world in a week! That was great!

"Did you see Blade Runner?" they ask me. Jesus, of course not! You don't appreciate something by watching it. You appreciate something by smoking it! I rent videotapes, crunch them up, put them in a big pipe, and smoke myself sensible! I've smoked more movies than most people have ever seen! That shocks people. "You shouldn't smoke videotapes," they say. "Plastic fumes are poisonous and will do weird things to you." Weird things? Not unless the satisfaction of having enjoyed a great smoke is a "weird thing."

People ask me if I want to go to the beach. Hey, been there, smoked that. I love smoking sand and dried-up fish. Those are some of the best smokes I've ever had!

I'm not so odd. I love it when my mother cooks up her special manicotti meal. Because I smoke it. And I like falling in love, because I like having a sweetheart who buys me flowers and jewelry. Because that's the kind of stuff I can smoke! I'm a smoker. I hate people who say they're smokers when they only smoke cigarettes. That's lying. They should say, "I'm a smoker in the weakest, most narrow definition of the word." Or, "I smoke only those things that are socially acceptable to smoke." That would make me much happier.

I keep having this dream where I'm at an auction of Nazi memorabilia. Hitler's mustache is on the block, and I bid $18 million and get it, beating out all these museum people and fascists. Then I go home, put some Bach on low, and roll those little mustache hairs into a tight little E-Z Wider joint.

Then, know what I do? I smoke the **** out of it.


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pickled shuttlecock
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That's just wrong. Just wrong.

I love it.

I also noticed that the word "smoke" starts sounding really foreign after you hear it enough times. Listen: smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke.

Smoke. Ha ha. Smoke smoke smoke.

Um, anyway, never smoked, never intend to, think it stinks and it's a huge turn-off.

I wonder if the tendency toward non-smoking on this board is another manifestation of its ISTJ-ness?

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Kent
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ENTP - Never smoked.
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flydye45
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Smoked a few cigars, one pipe, and maybe three cigarettes. Last time was 5 years ago.

Non-smoker

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EDanaII
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@ pickled shuttlecock
quote:
Smoke. Ha ha. Smoke smoke smoke.

Um, anyway, never smoked, never intend to, think it stinks and it's a huge turn-off.

I dunno... I'm kinda gettin' the impression that you might be smoking something right now. [Wink]
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The Drake
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Rather than respond to this thread, I'm going to print it out and smoke it.
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Wayward Son
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OK, Drake, we'll put you down as a "yes," then.
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The Drake
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I actually quit years ago.
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The Drake
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Except for this thread, of course. Several bystanders inhaled a second-hand discussion.
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Dave at Work
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I don't smoke.

The image of the Ornery forum smoking a pole made of straw does bring a chuckle though. [Smile]

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Wayward Son
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quote:
Several bystanders inhaled a second-hand discussion.
My God, man, haven't you heard about the dangers of second-hand discussions!!!! [Eek!]
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TommySama
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Don't smoke. Tried it in 7th grade, almost vomitted.
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Larfoutloud
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I smoke, but it's a horrible habit that I can't physically break. I can do it mentally, but the physical addiction is horrible.
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DonaldD
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Nein
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RickyB
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Tried most cigarettes, could not fathom what people find in them. Smoked a pipe for a while (for the pose...I was 17 [Big Grin] but dropped it due to the hassle factor). Smoke a lot of cannabis. Sometimes, when it's hash or extremely good (i.e. expensive) weed, I'll mix it with tobacco.

Ed. to add: tobacco tends to make me nauseous. When I mix it with my cannabis, I only use light tobacco.

[ June 28, 2006, 04:07 PM: Message edited by: RickyB ]

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Lobo
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never smoked
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Jesse
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Started in my early teens, had a good habit worked up by 17. Got up to nearly three packs a day at peak.

If I could smoke 2-3 cigs a day, I would, but I can't.

Quit a bit over a year ago. Prime motivator?

I'm not giving these SOBs one more dime in federal taxes than I absolutely have to in order to survive.

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Mormegil
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One puff at age 6, coughing fit, 'nuff said. Whether it's bad for you or not, it sure is utterly disgusting.
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Ben
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nope, never. Actually gets a bit difficult for me to breathe around smokers, but haven't really pushed how long I can stand it. Though with the fires around here in southern Utah, I got a headache quick when on my way to work or home... just don't deal well with smoke generally, even from campfires which I enjoy otherwise.
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LoverOfJoy
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Never smoked.
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Adam Lassek
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No. Very allergic to the stuff, actually.
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KnightEnder
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Don't smoke. Between 21 and 30 I smoked a few times while drinking.
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WarrsawPact
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I have always been very good at detecting the smell of smoke. Used to give me a headache to be around someone who smokes, although that faded as my tendency to get migraines faded (had many of them as a little kid).

Like in middle school, at lunch time, I asked everyone around me if they smelled smoke. They all said no. I said, man, that's the strangest thing. I can definitely smell smoke. Were they sure? Yes.

After the next class was over, everyone finds out there's a grass/brush fire approaching the school from the tall hills at the opposite end of the school. We were evacuated from the school and everything. I of course said an audible told-you-so to my class as we were ordered to the buses.

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LoverOfJoy
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That's a pretty cool super power. [Smile] Too bad it's fading. Gotta watch out for that kryptonite. [Wink]
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