Ornery.org
  Front Page   |   About Ornery.org   |   World Watch   |   Guest Essays   |   Contact Us

The Ornery American Forum Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Rape only hurts if you fight it

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Rape only hurts if you fight it
LinuxFreakus
Member
Member # 2395

 - posted      Profile for LinuxFreakus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This guy really messed up it seems.

http://www.stamfordadvocate.com/news/local/state/hc-13090934.apds.m0138.bc-ct--editfeb13,0,7646937.story?coll=hc-headlines-local-wire

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LinuxFreakus
Member
Member # 2395

 - posted      Profile for LinuxFreakus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, I found the text of the article, but it was only in PDF, it seems they removed it from the main website. Google rocks.

Rape Only Hurts If You Fight It, by John Petroski:
quote:

Most people today would claim that rape is a terrible crime almost akin to murder, but I strongly disagree. Far from a vile act, rape is a magical experience that benefits society as a whole. I realize many of you will disagree with this thesis, but lend me your ears and I’m sure I’ll sway you towards a darkened alley.

If it weren’t for rape, Western Civilization might not exist as we know it today. When the Romans were faced with a disproportionate ratio of women to men in the early kingdom, they had to do something, lest their fledgling society die for lack of sons. To solve their little dilemma, they did what any reasonable man would do: they threw a festival for their Sabine neighbors, and then stole and raped their women. It’s quite logical; in fact I don’t understand why the settlers at Plymouth didn’t do the same to the local Indians—it certainly would have saved on shipping costs.

Obviously, in the case of the Rape of the Sabines, rape was a tremendous help to society. The Sabine women, for their part, didn’t seem to mind so much, as they threw themselves between their brutish old Sabine husbands and their charming new Roman ones to prevent bloodshed when the Sabine men came to reclaim their wives. Yet even when society was totally against a rape, the raunchy act has benefited society too. Where would the Romans be, after all, if it weren’t for the Rape of Lucretia infuriating the people to the point of overthrowing their last king, Lucius Tarquinius Superbus? If it weren’t for that event, the world might never have had the Roman Republic for a pristine example of a flawless government.

Rape’s glorious advantages are not, however, exclusively found from 2,000-year-old examples. In actuality, rape’s advantages can very much be seen today. Take ugly women, for example. If it weren’t for rape, how would they ever know the joy of intercourse with a man who isn’t drunk? In a society as plastic-conscious as our own, are we really to believe that some man would ever sleep with a girl resembling a wildebeest if he didn’t have a few schnapps in him? Of course he wouldn’t—at least no self-respecting man would—but there in lies the beauty of rape. No self-respecting man would rape in the first place, so ugly women are guaranteed a romp with not only a sober man, but a bad boy too; and we all know how much ladies like the bad boy.

Ugly women are not, however, the only people who benefit from rape—prisoners enjoy its many perks too. What, after all, could possibly be more boring than spending years of your life confined to some tiny cell 23 hours a day? The answer, of course, is spending years of your life confined to some tiny cell 23 hours a day and never getting some hot action.

With rape, prisoners never have to worry about that. Instead, they merely need worry about treating their rapists with enough love and respect to earn a quick reach-around.

But if there is one bread and butter reason for why rape should not only be accepted, but even endorsed, it is because our news editors are in dire need of interesting stories for our front page. Bookstore stories? Fossils? One dollar coins? Please. Now, some saucy circle-jerk rape action? Yeah, that’s the ticket.



[ February 13, 2007, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: LinuxFreakus ]

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LinuxFreakus
Member
Member # 2395

 - posted      Profile for LinuxFreakus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Having read the article, I think I can see why people got upset. When you do satire like this, its got to be very funny. This really wasn't funny. I don't even know how you could make this subject funny.

[ February 13, 2007, 11:54 AM: Message edited by: LinuxFreakus ]

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Omega M.
Member
Member # 1392

 - posted      Profile for Omega M.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeahhh, there's nothing in there so laugh-out-loud funny as to imply that this is not serious. Nobody's really being made fun of (like how in "A Modest Proposal," the rich are being made fun of because it's said that they'll buy and eat the kids of the poor).
Posts: 1966 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pete at Home
Member
Member # 429

 - posted      Profile for Pete at Home   Email Pete at Home   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To pull of the "Modest Proposal" you can't afford to be ignorant about history, otherwise it confuses even the educated. (Swift didn't mangle facts and he still pissed off a few illiterates that thought he was serious).

The writer doesn't grasp that the word "rape" didn't used to mean what it meant now. To the Romans, to rape meant to take a woman away without the permission of her husband/father/other controling male. By Roman standards, Romeo "raped" Juliette. The rape of Lucretia happens to correspond to what we call rape, since it was against Lucretia's will as well as against her husband's will, but it's not so clear whether the Sabine women were coerced or simply seduced. Sad thing is that it made no difference to the male Roman writers -- nor to the earlier Greeks, who saw no difference in the story whether Helen consented or was overpowered by Paris. (The sophist Gorgias actually argued that Paris "overpowered" her with words so that she had no free will).

Posts: 44193 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moodi
Member
Member # 3020

 - posted      Profile for moodi   Email moodi   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Assuming what he mentioned is right, Western society is a product of a mass rape. WOW!
Posts: 134 | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Carlotta
Member
Member # 3117

 - posted      Profile for Carlotta   Email Carlotta   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Pete, I'm not sure you could say it was rape in Romeo and Juliet when they were married by a priest... didn't the authority of the Church supersede that of the father?
Posts: 1318 | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sacrip2
Member
Member # 3288

 - posted      Profile for sacrip2   Email sacrip2   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The greatest sin of this piece is definitly the lack of wit, a prosaic "winking eye" letting the astute reader in on the joke. It reads more like an intellectual exercise someone gave the reader: make a case for rape being a positive influence on society, historical and contemporary. Somehow, eating orphan children lends itself to humor easier.
Posts: 55 | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pete at Home
Member
Member # 429

 - posted      Profile for Pete at Home   Email Pete at Home   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I meant from a Roman point of view, not a Roman Catholic point of view. Catholicism struggled with but did not supercede the Roman Pater Familias authority in the culture. In Shakespeare's time our modern usage of the word "rape" prevailed in the culture but some remnants of the classic Roman usage for "stuprum"/rape still lingered in the law; Shakespeare was once formally accused of "rape" for helping a willing woman elope. This struggle between the modern and old Roman ideas of "rape" appeared in at least one of Shakespeare's plays, Titus Andronicus.

[ February 13, 2007, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: Pete at Home ]

Posts: 44193 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LinuxFreakus
Member
Member # 2395

 - posted      Profile for LinuxFreakus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by sacrip2:
The greatest sin of this piece is definitly the lack of wit, a prosaic "winking eye" letting the astute reader in on the joke. It reads more like an intellectual exercise someone gave the reader: make a case for rape being a positive influence on society, historical and contemporary. Somehow, eating orphan children lends itself to humor easier.

Yup... I have to think the guys at the Onion would be able to think of a way to crank out something way better than this. This guy must not have realized he isn't that good (yet?).
Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jordan
Member
Member # 2159

 - posted      Profile for Jordan   Email Jordan   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Of course, it could be that the "Modest Proposal" was more hilarious because orphan children never got eaten. Whereas rape does happen, and is deplorable.

The article might have been moderately acceptable if the author had stopped before going onto modern-day rape. As it stands, it not only fails to be funny and lacks a “prosaic 'winking eye'”; it stumbles right into crass, cruel and inflammatory.

[ February 13, 2007, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Jordan ]

Posts: 2147 | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scifibum
Member
Member # 945

 - posted      Profile for scifibum   Email scifibum   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think it's good the opinion editor lost his position; there have to be a number of more talented journalists at the university who deserve it more.
Posts: 6847 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TommySama
Member
Member # 2780

 - posted      Profile for TommySama   Email TommySama       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah if the idiot can't even write a decent column about how funny rape is, he shouldn't have the position.
Posts: 6396 | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scouser1
unregistered


 - posted            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1 word for him: pillock

Maybe he needs to be raped then see how he feels then, the total prat.

And that thing about prisoners? Yeah, that goes on a lot too, but the article was just totally out of order and ridiculous

IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LinuxFreakus
Member
Member # 2395

 - posted      Profile for LinuxFreakus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TommySama:
Yeah if the idiot can't even write a decent column about how funny rape is, he shouldn't have the position.

haha [LOL]
Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jordan
Member
Member # 2159

 - posted      Profile for Jordan   Email Jordan   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Tommy:
Yeah if the idiot can't even write a decent column about how funny rape is, he shouldn't have the position.

Perhaps Tommy should take over his position. People would argue over which is driest: his wit, or the paper it's printed on.
Posts: 2147 | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kenmeer livermaile
Member
Member # 2243

 - posted      Profile for kenmeer livermaile   Email kenmeer livermaile       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Yeah if the idiot can't even write a decent column about how funny rape is, he shouldn't have the position."

You are the man, Tommy.

Posts: 23297 | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Ornery.org Front Page

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.1