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Author Topic: Texas politician circulates hilarious anti-evolution memo
Rallan
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http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/texassouthwest/stories/DN-evolution_14tex.ART.State.Edition1.298e1cb.html

quote:

Memo: Stop teaching evolution

Georgia lawmaker's plea comes to Texas through No. 2 in House

07:53 AM CST on Wednesday, February 14, 2007

By ROBERT T. GARRETT / The Dallas Morning News
rtgarrett@dallasnews.com

AUSTIN – The second most powerful member of the Texas House has circulated a Georgia lawmaker's call for a broad assault on teaching of evolution.

House Appropriations Committee Chairman Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, used House operations Tuesday to deliver a memo from Georgia state Rep. Ben Bridges.

The memo assails what it calls "the evolution monopoly in the schools."

Mr. Bridges' memo claims that teaching evolution amounts to indoctrinating students in an ancient Jewish sect's beliefs.

"Indisputable evidence – long hidden but now available to everyone – demonstrates conclusively that so-called 'secular evolution science' is the Big Bang, 15-billion-year, alternate 'creation scenario' of the Pharisee Religion," writes Mr. Bridges, a Republican from Cleveland, Ga. He has argued against teaching of evolution in Georgia schools for several years.

He then refers to a Web site, www.fixedearth.com, that contains a model bill for state Legislatures to pass to attack instruction on evolution as an unconstitutional establishment of religion.

Mr. Bridges also supplies a link to a document that describes scientists Carl Sagan and Albert Einstein as "Kabbalists" and laments "Hollywood's unrelenting role in flooding the movie theaters with explicit or implicit endorsement of evolutionism."

Mr. Chisum said he knows Mr. Bridges from their joint service on a committee of the National Conference of State Legislatures.

"That is a courtesy to a member of the Georgia legislature, is all that is," said Mr. Chisum, a social conservative who opposes abortion rights and wants the state to prefer heterosexuals over gays and lesbians in recruiting foster parents. He authored the 2005 constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Mr. Chisum was asked if Mr. Bridges' memo reflects his own views.

"No, absolutely, although I'm a Christian, and I believe in creation," he said. Creation science is the idea that the Earth was created in six days some 6,000 years ago.

"You ought to teach creation as well as the fact of evolution," Mr. Chisum said, though he said "all of those kinds of sciences have holes in them. ... But I'm not about teaching religion in schools."

Mr Chisum has since gone on to try and weasel out of this by claiming that he didn't actually read the website recommended before forwarding Mr Bridges' memo, and doesn't necessarily agree with some of the more crazy stuff it says.

Unfortunately for Mr Chisum, the memo itself is available now, and it speaks for itself [Smile]


http://www.capitolannex.com/IMAGES2/CHISUMMEMO.pdf
quote:

Members,

I am distributing the following information to all House Members on behalf or Representative Ben Bridges of the Georgia House of Representatives. I am acquainted with Representative Bridges through my work as Chair of the NCSL Agriculture, Environmental and Energy Commitee, and greatly appreciate his information on this important topic.

Regards,

Warren Chisum


MEMO from: Rep. Ben Bridges
RE: Tax-supported "evolution science" now unlawful under US Constitution

Greetings, as Georgia's 5th term State Representative from the 10th district, I, like others, have made several attempts to challenge the evolution monopoly in the schools. These attempts have all been in vain for basically the same reason you and I and all others have encountered. Whether the challenge came from BOE members or Legislators, the Courts have ruled that "creation science" (and "ID") has a religious agenda and is thus in violation of the "Establishment Clause" of the U.S. Constitution. "Evolution science", on the other hand, has been viewed by the courts as "secular science" with no religious agenda and therefore has been deemed lawful under the Constitution.

All of that can now be changed! Indisputable evidence - long hidden but now available to everyone - demonstrates conclusively that so-called "secular evolution science" is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternate "creation scenario" of the Pharisee Religion. This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from the Rabbinic writings in the mystic "holy book" Kabbala dating back at least two millenia. Evidence in the URLs below shows conclusively that "evolution science" has a very specific religious agenda and (as with "creation science") cannot legally be taught in taxpayer-supported schools, according to the constitution.

<rallan note: boring bit with URLs to various pages on the Fixed Earth site has been snipped because nothing silly is said and I hate typing out URLs.>

I hope you will join with me in in presenting a Bill with the same content in your states. It will WIN in the Courts! Together we can stop the misuse of billions in taxes now funding a deception that is causing incalculable harm to every student and every truth-loving citizen. ([u]The solution for future science instruction is expelled from schools is included in the HB 179 links[u]). Feel free to copy this memo and forward it to others who you know.


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DaveS
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Silly, of course, but it reminds me that Einstein was accused by the Nazis of pushing his cult of "Jewish Physics" instead of the more wholesome "Aryan Physics". Gravity works in mysterious ways, and there is a bit of gravity in the fact that Bridges thinks there should be a course in "Georgia Science".
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Jordan
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That website is so badly designed it makes me want to find the person who sat down at Front Page to produce it and throttle them. And then vomit on them.

What fricking use is a series of links to "HERE" with no title text (or context!) to even hint at their destination? And what complete freaking numpty underlines text at random making it look like it might be a link, so that you need to hover over everything to check if it's a link or not? For goodness' sake! There's a page of references there with bits of text which are sporadically underlined at random; no apparent pattern or order. It's like they set a monkey loose on a Word document.

And who. In the world. Ever. Thought that it was good typography. To use more than TWELVE. Different colours. On the same page!!!

Oh well—I suppose that if complete and utter nut-jobs learned to make good websites, it might not be so easy to spot them. But still, this sort of thing really gets my back up. [Mad]

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Richard Dey
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I think Rallan has provided enough data here for us to evolve a Theory of Devolution.

Fortunately it's a .pdf file. Few evolutionists have the patience for those.

You're right, Jordan [Big Grin] . Male numbers (the uneven ones) provide better artwork. He should have used 13 colors!

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Jordan
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In case anyone didn't guess, that site also tries to argue that Copernican mechanics is Kabbalistic and false. Apparently the earth is completely, totally fixed in space, and everything else moves around it. Geostationary satellites simply hover in place above a fixed planet. The Universe is only about one light-day across; most stars are nearby, and additional stars are just reflections from a vast sphere of water (the Biblical "waters above"). The different colours of stars are presumably created by refraction. Oh, and did you know that all our observations (eg. redshift) are based on computers programmed with faulty, Kabbalistic assumptions?

It's good to know that government officials are sane, thoughtful people who carefully examine all the evidence before coming to conclusions.

Oh, and my favourite:

quote:
5) The Earth’s atmosphere must be assumed to be just an airy, fixed extension of the alleged rotating Earth. It is assumed and must be assumed that this atmosphere must have the remarkable ability to synchronize speeds of objects in it at all altitudes--birds, clouds, jets, low orbit satellites, alleged geo-synchronous satellites over 22,000 miles out--and to be unaffected by alleged Earth movements of speeds ranging from 1000 MPH to 67,000 MPH to 500,000 MPH to 660,000,000 MPH. This assumption is mandatory once the rotating Earth assumption is made and can not be ignored in the helio model of the eclipse phenomena.
  —From Copernicanism Through Big Bangism Modern Cosmology’s Model Of The Universe Is Built Solely On ASSUMPTIONS

  1. Those figures were obviously obtained through analysis, which (as Scott Adams explains) comes from the root word "anal," and the Greek word "ysis," which means "to pull from."
  2. Geosynchronous satellites don't rely on the atmosphere to circle the earth—they rely on gravity.
  3. Ever heard of the Coriolis effect?

If I worked for Mr Chisum, I'd be sorely tempted to march up to his office and throw a time-lapse video of a Foucault pendulum at him, with a note saying "Kabbalism is so all-pervasive, even the laws of physics believe it!"

[ February 18, 2007, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Jordan ]

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Jordan
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quote:
Richard:
You're right, Jordan [Big Grin] . Male numbers (the uneven ones) provide better artwork. He should have used 13 colors!

Get out.

[Razz]

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DaveS
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[Smile]
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Pete at Home
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I guess they'll have to toss the first theorem of physics, since that's an LDS doctrine.
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Jordan
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quote:
Pete:
I guess they'll have to toss the first theorem of physics, since that's an LDS doctrine.

Also, SETI and particle accelerators are religious institutions, since alien civilisations and sub-atomic particles are predicted in LDS doctrine too.

Damn you Mormons!

(I confess that I don't actually know what the first theorem of physics is... [Embarrassed] )

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Chael
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Kabbalistic...

...

...sorry--I can't stop laughing. Thank you, Rallan; I needed that!

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Richard Dey
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Rallan: 6,000 years ago should read 6,011 years ago. Not to nitpick [Wink] .
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DaveS
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quote:
In case anyone didn't guess, that site also tries to argue that Copernican mechanics is Kabbalistic and false.
This whole article reminds me of the old trick question: How far can a dog run if its collar is attached to a 10 foot chain? The correct answer is: It depends on whether the other end is attached to anything.

Bearing that in mind, I have let my mind roam and have been doing some physics investigations in my spare time. My results have been confirmed by repeated observations, so the appropriate time to reveal my findings is nigh. The unquestioned premise is that the earth is surrounded by a nearly perfectly spherical shell composed of a semi-permeable (i.e., cloth-like) substance. My hypothesis is that that shell is showing increasing pinprick defects, popularly called stars, over the time of existence (6,011 years). The stars allow light from beyond (called "glory") to be visible.

Recognizing that the increase in the number of such defects has accelerated in the recent past (i.e., latter days), and from reference to historical information in the bible (e.g., Genesis 15:5, "Counting Abraham's descendants would be like counting the stars"), we know that the exact number has grown from two (Ishmael, Isaac) to six billion. Additional increasing observations of comets (tears (rents), not actually "falling stars", as commonly misinterpreted) since halcyon days confirm and extend these findings.

Consequently, I can state unequivocally that the fabric of the world is unraveling. Basing my calculations solely on infallible sources, I estimate the sky will fall in 899 days, 12 hours, 4 minutes and 3 seconds. However, the length of a day being unspecified, the end may come considerably sooner than I have indicated.

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Wayward Son
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This seems like a good place to make my own original observation about the physical universe.

Have you ever wondered why kid's playground areas are covered with sand? I always assumed that the sand was placed there by the playground builders to soften any falls from the playground equipment, but recently I discovered that I was wrong.

When shaking out my boy's shoes after a particularly energetic tromp at the local playground, I noticed something remarkable. No matter how long I shook those shoes, sand would continue to come out of them! This lead to my new theory.

Sand on the playground does not get into children's shoes. Playground sand comes from children's shoes! There constant running around the playground areas shakes sand from their shoes, and over time, fills the areas up with sand.

Anyone who doubts this theory must explain the undeniabe observed phenomenon of sand coming out of kids shoes. Mainstream science simply cannot explain this! Therefore, mainstream science is wrong!!

And now I finally know who I can send my theory to. Anyone know Warren Chisum's address? [Wink]

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hobsen
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The bottom of this page has the wacky commercial offer:
quote:
Compare Evolution to competitors. Get a price quote now!
Personally I have always liked the theory advanced by Tolkien in his fiction. This in essence says the Earth was created flat and motionless, and later made spherical and rotating by God at the time of the sinking of Atlantis. The evidence is the Bible says the world was created flat, so Biblical inerrancy says that must have been so. The world is now roughly spherical and rotating, as proved by modern scientific observation. Therefore something must have changed, and Plato passes on an explanatory tradition from Critias:
quote:
Listen then, Socrates, to a tale which, strange though it be, is yet perfectly true, as Solon, the wisest of the seven once said. He was a relation and friend of Dropidas, my great-grandfather, as he tells us himself in his poems, and Dropidas assured my grandfather, Critias, who, when an old man, repeated it to us, that there were great and marvellous exploits achieved by Athens in the days of old, which, through lapse of time and in the course of generations, have vanished from memory.
He goes on to relate one version of the Atlantis story.

The thing I have always liked about this theory is that, given a God with unlimited power to hold things together during the cataclysm and erase conflicting details in the surviving evidence, it is as scientifically likely as any other. There is no "science" of history - we can make no direct observations of past time - so all that we have is surviving evidence of what was. If no evidence survives, as with a soft-bodied organism which left no trace in the fossil record, we have no known way of finding it ever existed. On the other hand, I think Tolkien's amusing hypothesis is historically false; and I doubt even he thought otherwise. It is just there is no way to disprove it.

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Rallan
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quote:
Originally posted by Richard Dey:
Rallan: 6,000 years ago should read 6,011 years ago. Not to nitpick [Wink] .

Hey I don't wanna go putting words in the mouths of true believers. I wouldn't want to insult their beliefs by assuming that every last one of 'em uses Ussher's Chronology, so I'll stick with general ballpark figures [Smile]
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Wayward Son
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Besides, the world can't be 6,011 years old. The Bible clearly states that the world will end at 6,000 years old.

So the chronology is obviously off (unless I missed something). [Smile]

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Jordan
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Did anyone notice that yesterday was the birthday of a well-known Kabbalist?
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moodi
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quote:

"Marshall Hall, BS. MA + 2 years:...Advanced International Studies Ph.D. Program"


Orneries,
If anyone can find an email or a physical address of this genius, please send it to me immediately. I am still wondering what kind of legal action can be taken against the college and the state that graduated this idiot.

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DonaldD
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Why? He got himself a bachelor of science, a master of arts, and couldn't finish his PhD in international studies. What would you expect from the diet coke of post secondary education... the margarine of unfinished advanced studies...
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Haggis
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quote:
My hypothesis is that that shell is showing increasing pinprick defects, popularly called stars, over the time of existence (6,011 years). The stars allow light from beyond (called "glory") to be visible.

So the sky is filled with "glory holes"?
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kenmeer livermaile
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"Copernican mechanics is Kabbalistic and false. Apparently the earth is completely, totally fixed in space, and everything else moves around it. Geostationary satellites simply hover in place above a fixed planet. The Universe is only about one light-day across; most stars are nearby, and additional stars are just reflections from a vast sphere of water (the Biblical "waters above"). The different colours of stars are presumably created by refraction. Oh, and did you know that all our observations (eg. redshift) are based on computers programmed with faulty, Kabbalistic assumptions?"

+++

"The unquestioned premise is that the earth is surrounded by a nearly perfectly spherical shell composed of a semi-permeable (i.e., cloth-like) substance. My hypothesis is that that shell is showing increasing pinprick defects, popularly called stars, over the time of existence (6,011 years). The stars allow light from beyond (called "glory") to be visible."

These contributions, one quoted and one created, have made not just my day but my week.

Real physics are great for real facts; but poetry has other aims... I wonder what it was like to live when such theories were as plausible as any other?

Sure, there's always the future, sci-fi, and world-building , but I sometimes miss the flat earth covered by a rounded mystery.

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kenmeer livermaile
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"So the sky is filled with "glory holes"?"

And black holes...

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Pete at Home
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quote:
Originally posted by Haggis:
quote:
My hypothesis is that that shell is showing increasing pinprick defects, popularly called stars, over the time of existence (6,011 years). The stars allow light from beyond (called "glory") to be visible.

So the sky is filled with "glory holes"?
Or "pricks," if you prefer. [Big Grin]
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DaveS
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quote:
I wonder what it was like to live when such theories were as plausible as any other?
I'm surprised that you think those days are gone. I think the theories that debunked phlogiston are particularly weak, as are counterarguments against the ether.

3. The regions of space beyond the earth's atmosphere; the heavens.
4. The element believed in ancient and medieval civilizations to fill all space above the sphere of the moon and to compose the stars and planets.
5. Physics. An all-pervading, infinitely elastic, massless medium formerly postulated as the medium of propagation of electromagnetic waves.

[Middle English, upper air, from Latin aethēr, from Greek aithēr.]

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Wayward Son
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I understand the Michelson-Morley experiment pretty well shot-to-hell the ether theory, by measuring the speed of light through the ether to an inhumanly precise degree (something like 10^-20 m IIRC). (They measured the interference of the light with itself to determine it. Problem was, no matter which way they measured it--going along the ether stream or sideways to it--there was no interference. Light didn't care if it was moving with the Earth or sideways to the Earth's motion.)

[ February 23, 2007, 04:47 PM: Message edited by: Wayward Son ]

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DaveS
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So (applying a very small portion of my total ignorance here), does that mean that matter doesn't exist because cosmic rays and tachyons don't seem bothered much by it? Perhaps those light follicles just don't interact with ether, either? And does matter matter? Perhaps a new theory based on orthogones can explain why things don't seem affected by things.
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DonaldD
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But the whole point of ether is that light is affected by it - ether was posited as the means by which light was propagated.

If ether doesn't affect light, then it is not ether, but something else...

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DaveS
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OK, but if this thread is about anything, it's the gulf between evidence and proof on the one hand and knowledge acquired through experience on the other. Can you show me the defect of my ways, or can I instead warm you with the fires of what I know? One part of the brain wants comfort, while the other is comforted by knowledge. The good Georgia lawmaker is comforted in his understanding of the way the world works, and who's to tell him his comfort comes from the wrong source? I may be wrong about the ether*, but I know that whatever is out there acts in ways that I would expect of the ether.

* Lest I go too far, I want to point out that I'm playing a Colbert-like devil's advocate. KL's comment about the limits of knowledge and the difference between true and false knowledge has always intrigued me. I wanted to mention (again) a historical novel I read several years ago that felt very real, called "Quarantine" by Jim Crace. It illuminates the question of why we call breathing inspiration, among other things....

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Wayward Son
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Ah. Knowledge without knowing. Very zen of you, DaveS.

Perhaps that is the ultimate meaning of "truthiness"--a zenish knowledge, not based on proof or reason, but on Mu (or the major product of "Moo" [Wink] ).

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kenmeer livermaile
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'conctancy of C.'

Priceless typo.

Quarantine: pretty good opening paragraph:

"Miri's husband was shouting in his sleep, not words that she could recognize but simple, blurting fanfares of distress. When, at last, she lit a lamp to discover what was tormenting him, she saw his tongue was black -- scorched and sooty. Miri smelled the devil's eggy dinner roasting on his breath; she heard the snapping of the devil's kindling in his cough. She put her hand on to his chest; it was soft, damp and hot, like fresh bread. Her husband, Musa, was being baked alive. Good news."

[ February 24, 2007, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: kenmeer livermaile ]

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kenmeer livermaile
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Dave S:

My profound gratitude for your ingenious vision of the outer cosmos as being defined by an opaque sphere whose material is riddled with tiny holes that allow glory to shine through.

I have unabashedly stolen it and used it as the crowning metaphor of one of the ideas central to Scrapton's Revenge.

As the cinematic Feisal (Alec Guinness) said to the cinematic Lawrence (Peter O'Toole):

"What I owe you is beyond evaluation."

Lucky you. You get to be the tall golden gorgeous one.

But I get to be the most eloquent voice in the entire screenplay. [Razz]

Bonus gratitude gifts:

First, the vulgar:

"Hands-On Activities
Students are now introduced to the techniques of working with molten glass in the hot glass studio. The craftsperson demonstrates how to gather a gob of molten glass from the glass furnace at the end of a "punty". Since molten glass glows brightly, the students must wear dark goggles to protect their eyes from the heat and light. The goggles also allow the students to see the material in the furnace or glory hole rather than just a bright blur. The craftsperson shows students how to shape the glass with one hand while continually rotating the punty with the other hand."

Second, the obscene:

"A horizontal hole (known as a glory hole) through the center of the stationary hemisphere reflector and the core provides access for irradiation samples and detectors to the central zone of the assembly. The pedestal where the fissile core sits contains many voids (cavities) that may be filled with either natural uranium or highly enriched uranium buttons to compensate for the various glory hole configurations."

The various glory hole configurations...

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DaveS
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KL, Thanks! I will accept your gratitude in haste and ponder it at leisure [Smile] .
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kenmeer livermaile
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When that section is satisfactorily drafted, I'll send you a salient slice.
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