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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Sex sells ...bagels?

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Author Topic: Sex sells ...bagels?
MattP
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http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2007/03/bagel_shop_need.html
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KnightEnder
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Hilarious!!! [LOL] [LOL] And suddenly I want a bagel. Whatever they are.

KE

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Lobo
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Crude. Don't want to have to explain that to the kids.
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scouser1
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lol, i agree with you Lobo! [Big Grin]
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caladbolg1125
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Mmmmm... bagels garggggg... *drools*

Ok in real life that would have been a spot on Homer Simpson impression.

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Everard
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Wait. KE does not knw what a bagel is?
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Lobo
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Maybe he doesn't know what the other thing is? Wait, he has kids...
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KnightEnder
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We don't have these 'bagels' you speak of in Texas. The other is the hub/bain of my existence. [Smile] [Frown]

(Notice I tactfully refrained from making any 'spreading cream cheese' jokes.) Doh!

KE

[ March 09, 2007, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: KnightEnder ]

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Everard
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Man, KE, you need more jewish friends [Smile]
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caladbolg1125
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quote:
Originally posted by Everard:
Man, KE, you need more jewish friends [Smile]

Seriously, dude the jews are awesome. [Big Grin]
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caladbolg1125
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quote:
Originally posted by KnightEnder:
We don't have these 'bagels' you speak of in Texas.

Really? I think I've seen one or two around here somewhere.
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Chael
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Maybe you don't have them in Houston, but I assure you we have them in Texas. [Wink]

Now, whether or not most of them are 'real bagels' is another matter entirely. [Big Grin]

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MattP
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Einstein Bros. Bagels
Montrose & Hawthorne
3407 Montrose, Ste. B2
Houston, TX 77006
Store #2305

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MattP
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quote:
Notice I tactfully refrained from making any 'spreading cream cheese' jokes.
Pap schmear?
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MattP
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While we're talking bagels, does anyone know a good bagel dough recipe? I picked up new mixer just before Christmas and would like to try making them from scratch.
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Colin JM0397
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Coming to Broadway next month, The Bagel monologues.
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caladbolg1125
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Something about the penis monologues but I'm not a fan of ventriloquism. [Razz]
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KnightEnder
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Hey, I'll take all the new friends I can get from any persuasion. Are bagels good?

And Montrose Matt? That ain't Texas. That's a slice of San Francisco transplanted to Houston. But man it is a wild place.

And everybody should experience Montrose at least once in their life. When I was fifteen we used to drive down there a lot on the weekends. Until one weekend I saw the most beautiful woman I thought I'd ever seen. So, being the redblooded horny fifteen year old Texas boy I was, I make the block ready to put one of my patented legendary moves on her.

But when I pull up beside her, she leans over the car windowsill and asks me for a smoke, in a voice deeper than James Earl Jones! Man he/she was beautiful! I bummed a cig from a friend, lit it for her, handed to her, she put it between her gorgeous red lips took a drag and said "Thanks sugar. I said "You're welcome, and got the hell out of there. I decided right then and there that I'd stop going down to Montrose and Westheimer for a while at least. Lest I become confused. [Confused] [Smile]

True story.

KE

[ March 09, 2007, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: KnightEnder ]

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Lobo
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I didn't know that Matt was a transvestite?!?!?
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KnightEnder
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It's also the 'art' center of Houston. I'm sure that is why Matt hangs out down there so much. That and the 'bagels'. [Wink]

And I don't know about "The Penis Monologues" but I saw something very disturbing called the "Penis Puppet Show" or something like that. Very disturbing.

KE

[ March 09, 2007, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: KnightEnder ]

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KnightEnder
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Ev, what are you talking about? My best friend is a Jew. Even if you never call or write anymore. [Crying] Who'd of thought my closest friends would be Jews, Mormons, Hawaiins, Lesbians, Homosexuals, and whatever the rest of y'all are? Life is funny. [Smile] Thanks again to OSC. HE is a Uniter.

KE

[ March 09, 2007, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: KnightEnder ]

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Everard
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More in person jewish friends who will feed you bagels for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner [Wink]

Next time you are in the boston area, we will get together. I'm up in ipswich now, so I recommend coming to the boston area in the summer so I can take you to the beach [Smile]

[ March 09, 2007, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Everard ]

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simplybiological
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Uh, we love bagels in Austin.
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OpsanusTau
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quote:
While we're talking bagels, does anyone know a good bagel dough recipe? I picked up new mixer just before Christmas and would like to try making them from scratch.
Yeah, sure.
They're sort of a pain because you have to boil them before baking, and also ... well, here:
quote:
The Problem: Most of the recipes we looked at were remarkable only in their similarity. Both the ingredients--bread flour, salt, sugar, yeast, and water--and the technique--knead the dough, allow it to rise, shape into rings, allow it to rise again, then boil and bake--became predictable to us. So did the end product--and it was disappointing. Rather than plump, smooth, golden brown bagels, we had small, dense hockey pucks, with crusts that were dull, wrinkled, and a mottled brown. The flavor was bland and unappealing, and the internal crumb structure very dense. We didn't know it then, but these typical recipes were overlooking one crucial ingredient and one crucial step.

The Goal: Bagels good enough to eat unadorned, with a complex, yeasty aroma, a golden crust stubbled with the crispy fermentation bubbles that bakers call "fish eyes," and a tenaciously chewy interior.

The Solution: We tried high-gluten flour, which is the flour of choice at most professional bagel bakeries and pizza shops, and it was easy to see why this flour is so popular with professionals. This batch of bagels had a satiny smooth (as opposed to lumpy) and elastic (as opposed to brittle) dough. The bagels rose higher, and the crust was smoother and more attractive. The interior structure was also improved; these bagels were lighter and chewier than previous batches. The second professional secret we eventually uncovered involved a process known as retarding, which involves placing the shaped bagels in a specially designed refrigerator, called a retarder, for several hours or overnight. We were able to get similar results in a regular refrigerator.

I have the actual recipe that goes with this blurb somewhere; I'll see if I can dig it out.

Yum.
Bagels.

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Paladine
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No love for the resident Catholics, KE? [Wink]
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andrewski
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"Bee healthy, remember to eat your Honey!" or bagel.....
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TommySama
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Here we have a chain called "Bruegger's Bagels"

There add campaign for their new salads last year was, "Come In and We'll Toss Your Salad For You"

They took it down after a week and made is *less* suggestive.

BARF!

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lambchopsofgod
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quote:
Originally posted by Lobo:
Crude. Don't want to have to explain that to the kids.

um... why not? chances are 50/50 they have one. Why are we so much more afraid to expose children to sex than violence?
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