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» The Ornery American Forum » General Comments » Election Day Head Lines (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Election Day Head Lines
rightleft22
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Election Upset McCain wins!
Behind the curtain race the deciding factor.

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flydye45
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Obama Wins! Enjoys mandate of the people!:

Winning a stunning 298 electoral votes, Obama blew away the competition...On the popular vote, Obama only garnered 54%

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Jesse
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Or..the biggest victory since 1988 [Smile]

Actually I'd be suprised if he got much more than Bush did four years ago.

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DaveS
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"Barack Locks Ballot Box; McCain Palin Pain Plain"

"In a stunning victory, Barack Obama today became the first Afro-American-Hawaiian man to win the Presidency of the United States. He did it in convincing fashion by capturing all of the previously deemed solid states, as well as sweeping the battleground states. In a surprise outcome, Obama also carried Louisiana, prompting Haley Barbour, the Governor of neighboring Mississississippi, to authorize the state National Guard to close their western border.

Joe Biden was notified of the poll results when his commuter train reached his home station in Wilmington, Delaware. He said only a few words on his way to pick up some groceries before heading home. "Hell," he said, "Barack will be the most articulate and clean President this nation has ever had, and I am proud to be his partner."

Meanwhile, John McCain addressed the supporters gathered at his campaign headquarters at 2PM Tuesday to give his congratulations to the Obama-Biden team and concede the race. He congratulated his running mate, Sarah Palin, for providing the spark that carried his campaign to the success it had and several times asked her to join him on the podium. However, she demurred and shouted from the back of the room that John McCain deserved to have that moment to himself. She then left for her own campaign headquarters, from where she alerted reporters that she would be giving her final campaign speech later that evening.

George Bush gave a brief statement congratulating Barack and his running mate Biladen, and was overhead saying to Dick Cheney, "I was hoping we'd be seeing the hockey chick if John'd pulled it off." Cheney's response was muffled, but sounded like "It's not over, Bush, we've got until January 20th. Get Carl on the phone somebody."

[ October 29, 2008, 10:52 PM: Message edited by: DaveS ]

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Lyrhawn
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Obama Wins, Crazed Republicans Riot
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Greg Davidson
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Obama wins; too close to call in critical Chambliss-Martin race for control over filibusters in the Senate*

* The headline will ignore the fact that Lieberman and Sanders aren't officially members of the Democratic party.

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Jesse
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Sanders might as well be, and Lieberman seems to have just heard about some fable involving a Bat that he intends to read.
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Haggis
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Bradley Effect: Obama's White Half Makes Him Vote McCain!
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JoshuaD
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quote:
Originally posted by Haggis:
Bradley Effect: Obama's White Half Makes Him Vote McCain!

l o l
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cherrypoptart
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America dodges bullet as McCain wins election!
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Viking_Longship
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Two possibilites

Obama wins in stuning electoral landslide despite a 4 pt lead in popular vote.

Barack Obama thanked his supporters and called John McCain "an American hero who has served his country honorably his entire life." The McCain campaing congratulated Obama on his victory.

Meanwhile Rush Limbaugh called on Americans to call for an inquiry into ACORN and minority vote buying. With huge democratic wins in both houses of congress such prospects for such an inquiry seem bleak. A victorious Al Franken called Limbaugh "Ä Big Fat Idiot"

or

John McCain just wins key states and a narrow electoral victory. Reports of voter purges widespread. Echos of 2000 as Obama wins popular vote. Obama campaign has not officially conceded but is urging calm.

Small scale riots broke out in many urban areas after CNN and MSNBC followed Fox in declaring the McCain victory.

Conservative comentator Rush Limbaugh called rioters "hoodlums and drug adicts and called the Obama campaing "sore losers growling about sour grapes"

[ October 30, 2008, 07:51 AM: Message edited by: Viking_Longship ]

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Mariner
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Obama Wins!
Surfers dismayed at receding oceans

Obama Wins!
MSNBC anchor hospitalized for intense tingling sensations

McCain Wins!
Racists and ignorant rednecks propel Republican across the finish line

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Rallan
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<insert name here> Claims Irregularities In Florida Ballot, Demands Recount


Because you know it's the only constant in American politics these days [Smile]

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Jesse
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Oh, Crist is doing his best. I expect far more wailing and gnashing of teeth from Ohio.
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Greg Davidson
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Or Arizona
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Jesse
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Heh, Obama is just keeping the margin in Arizona low enough to embarass McCain. No way he wins.

If he had been able to hold a Rally in Pheonix six weeks ago and get the volunteer machine really runnin...maybe.

4-5 million volunteers nationwide. That's the real story, not the money.

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Ron Lambert
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Seriously, watch Virginia. It will be one of the first key states to report. If Virginia goes for McCain, then he will win the election nationwide. If Obama wins Virginia, but the margin is by only two points or less, then McCain still has a chance to win the electoral college vote.

Oh, you want a headline? OK--

McCain Wins! Names Joe the Plumber to His Cabinet!

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KnightEnder
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Nice one Ron. You have a flair for the apocalyptic.

KE

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munga
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quote:
Originally posted by cherrypoptart:
America dodges bullet as McCain wins election!

MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA MUGNA !!!
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Jesse
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[Wink]

BTW: If Obama wins Virginia and PA, the race is over.

Flat out over.

[ November 01, 2008, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: Jesse ]

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Greg Davidson
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I will be in Nevada, doing my part in case that's the final battleground swing state.
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Jesse
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PA has voted more Democratic than the nation as whole for the entire 20th century, and two 21st century elections.

McCain can't win without PA. He has absolutely NO realistic path without it.

His odds there are insanely long.

More blue on the map will be good for Obama, as will be bigger margins both in the electoral college and the popular vote - not trying to poop on your efforts Greg, just trying to paint an accurate political picture.

I will be stunned if this thing isn't over before the polls close on the West Coast.

[ November 01, 2008, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Jesse ]

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DaveS
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PA and VA are locked up for Obama. Give it up, Ron, G2, et al. It be over, the fat lady been singing for a month, the bell done rung, game over, move on, get therapy.

It's over.

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Funean
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PA tends blue in national elections (aside from Arlen, the Perennial Senator), and I suspect a tidal wave of first time voters in the bookend urban areas. I will be shocked if PA goes for McCain, the white supremacists in the central counties not withstanding. I mean, PA went for John Kerry in 2004, for god's sake.
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Redskullvw
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Neither of these will be printed.

If McCain wins...

"McCain Wins Racist Vote"

Which would probably be the media response if McCain manages to pull off an electoral college win.

If Obama wins...

"Obama Wins with 98% of Black Vote"

The article should then be filled with examples of how the 15% of the population that was black was enough to overwhelm the rest of the makeup of the voter population.

Which probably should be a headline, but won't because to write such a headline would be a reminder that many blacks are self admittedly voting for him simply because he is black. The media will do its best to spin the expected overwhelming vote by blacks for Obama as simply being a smaller part of a greater majority that voted for Obama regardless of skin color.

Obama is likely to win due to racism on the part of blacks. The fact that many blacks are democrats is certainly true. But to a very large degree, Obama's success in achieving the nomination during the primaries was a result of the difference between Clinton and himself in terms of novelty. To many black voters, the opportunity to vote for a black instead of a woman, hurt Clinton immensely. Clinton had a power base based upon solid black support, an expected support from women due to gender bias, and the support of moderate Democrats. Obama skewered that support by siphoning off almost all of the black vote from her, adding the disaffected MoveOn types, and convincing super delegates that the center of the party support had moved to him instead of Clinton.

Same thing is happening to McCain, except he was thinking Palin on the ticket might appeal to other women in terms of gender bias based voting. Right now the fact that around 12% of the voters happen to be black is more than enough to sway the election.

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Jesse
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McCain voted against MLK day twice and spoke in support of the Battle Ensign of the Army of Northern Virginia flying over State Capitols.
Every black voter I know knows both of those things.

Kinda hard to say they're just voting for Obama because they're racist and he's black.

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Greg Davidson
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Here's why the 98% of African Americans who may vote for Obama aren't racists. Over 90% of them voted for a white guy last time. In contrast, there are some real racists who won't vote for Obama who do not have a similar pattern of previously voting for a black guy.

Can you recognize the difference?

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Lyrhawn
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quote:
Originally posted by Ron Lambert:
Seriously, watch Virginia. It will be one of the first key states to report. If Virginia goes for McCain, then he will win the election nationwide. If Obama wins Virginia, but the margin is by only two points or less, then McCain still has a chance to win the electoral college vote.

Oh, you want a headline? OK--

McCain Wins! Names Joe the Plumber to His Cabinet!

Might make a nice Secretary of Labor with all his common man worker experience. Given McCain's track record with picking unqualified people for major posts, it wouldn't surprise me.

Ron, if Obama wins any of the follow states in the EST, VA, OH, FL, PA or NC, then it's over for McCain. Obama is going to win Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, and Iowa. All he needs is one of those five states in the Eastern Time Zone and McCain has no path to victory, and four of them went to Bush in 2004, with PA solidly in the blue for KERRY of all people. McCain has to win every single one of those states, and currently he's behind in polling in ALL of them.

Even if he DOES win them, Obama still has a couple unlikely but possible paths to victory that go through Missouri and maybe ND. Less likely sure, but hell, if McCain pulls out a win in PA, Obama could win AZ, so long as we're throwing polling logic out the window.

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Mynnion
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Obama wins: Names Munga to head the Fed. [Big Grin]
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DonaldD
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Bill Gates wins! Campaign finance declarations show Microsoft has 75% stake in Diebold...
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Ron Lambert
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What is on the mind of every observer of the polls is how far off they will prove to be this time. They have always been way off before. This is why I pointed to Virginia--as an early indication of how much correction we need to give to the previous polls.

Usually Republicans wind up getting three to six more points than polls before the election said they would. This leads to the suspicion that many pollsters tend to favor Democrats, and use their own polls to try to influence the election. When they say Obama is ahead by ten points over McCain in a given state (especially when other polls make the difference much closer), what they are really trying to do is tell supporters of McCain to give up, don't bother voting, it's already all over. But the actual effect this usually has is to make supporters of Republican candidates all the more determined to vote.

Republicans have never had the problem of their voters tending to stay home. Let it rain or snow, and the Democrat turnout is usually cut by ten percent--but Republican voters still come out, regardless. It appears they care more, and are more conscientious about their civic duty.

I hope it rains or snows all day long on election day in all the key battleground states.

[ November 02, 2008, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Ron Lambert ]

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DaveS
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quote:
This leads to the suspicion that pollsters tend to favor Democrats, ....
You mean that Gallup, Quinnipiac, Rasmussen, CNN, Diageo/Hotline, Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby, AP, IBD/TIPP, CBS, ABC, GWU, Marist, about 20 other polling organizations and last but not least FOX are all favoring Democrats because they don't understand their own polling methodologies?
quote:
...and use their own polls to try to influence the election.
...ah, no, they all do out of pro-Democrat bias.

My God, the conspiracy is HUGE. Lucky for the Republicans they have control over the voting machines, or that dastardly plot just might work.
---------
Ron, I think the only thing it's going to rain on Tuesday is your parade. It looks like it's going to rain for a long time, so you'd better start loading the animals onto the Ark.

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DaveS
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quote:
McCain Wins! Names Joe the Plumber to His Cabinet!
He doesn't seem to have a good lid on his mouth, so they could make him Secretary of Leaks, and then he can go fix 'em.
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Ron Lambert
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Joe the Plumber seems to be quite articulate. He could run for office.
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DonaldD
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He could - it may be his only route to that dreaded $250K/yr threshold - that or a ghost-written book...
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G2
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quote:
Originally posted by DaveS:
PA and VA are locked up for Obama. Give it up, Ron, G2, et al. It be over, the fat lady been singing for a month, the bell done rung, game over, move on, get therapy.

It's over.

I think I'll go ahead and vote anyway. If it was over, you'd be celebrating rather than trying to convince people to not go vote.
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DaveS
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You absolutely should vote. Even if you're convinced it won't make a difference. You never know, especially with computerized voting machines.

Btw, I bought a bottle of champagne to share with friends tomorrow night when the first network calls it for Obama. I figure FOX will be the last ones to call it, so I'm starting a pool to see how long between the time the first network (CBS) and FOX call it. Winner gets to chug a fresh bottle while the rest of us stand around chanting, "Yes You Can! Yes You Can!"

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Ben
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Election Day Headline:

Candidates wait while people vote

Election Day: Go Vote!

Is it me or is everyone else doing headlines for the day after the election? [Smile]

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Haggis
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quote:
Btw, I bought a bottle of champagne to share with friends tomorrow night when the first network calls it for Obama.
There's a thing called tempting fate. I remember in 2000 when the networks called Florida for Gore. [DOH]
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DonaldD
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somebody's forgetting about headlines on that little thing called 'the internet'

(plus, he's probably never even heard of an 'extra' edition...) [Smile]

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