I don't pretend to have all the answers on this topic. For one power to unilaterally disarm may invite the very madness it was meant to pretend. I don't know how to cut this gordion knot.
But let's put this in perspective. If tomorrow some country, even an ally, announced that they were building a death star in orbit, capable of literally blowing up the entire planet, would that be okay? Would we say that this is something we need to learn to live with, or that other countries should build their own death stars too, to ensure balance of power? Would we say that the resultant stability is worth the risk of such a weapon being deployed?
Of course not. We would consider the construction of such a weapon an act of lunacy, something in the province of a bond villain - basically a madman's folly.
Yet that's exactly what we have, today, right this second - multiple countries equipped with world ending weapons and the means to deliver them, almost instantly, via ICBM, from submarines, bombers, etc...
Unless you are a religious lunatic or an actual lunatic (i.e. mentally ill) there is no rational justification for these weapons to ever exist. We have nearly annihilated ourselves no fewer than twice (that we know of publicly) by accident, to say nothing of by design. The number of parties with access to this technology is expanding. Granted, most of the weapons are not of the world ending variety, but the sphere of powers with access to them, even on a smaller scale is growing. It's like Ultron's asteroid, rising higher and higher, its destructive power expanding (I can't believe I just made that stupid reference). Except it's *censored*ing real.
What would I like to see? I'd like the weapons to be banned completely. I'd like all major powers to wipe out their own stockpiles and then to treat the development of any atomic weaponry as tantamount to an attack on the entire world. Anyone who so much as tries to create such a weapon should be subject to massive, relentless and total annihilation by conventional means.
My wish sounds extreme, but when you stop and think about it, I don't think it really is. What's insane is continuing with the status quo.