Are you angry yet?
::Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn::
Huh? Oh yeah. Yes. I'm absolutely livvvid, dahling. Or is it languid? I can't tell the difference sometimes.
So all of you who voted for President Trump and the Republicans in 2016 - how much are you saving on your tax bill this year?
Weyl, I didn't vote for the Lord High Cheetoh Dictator. But I'll answer the second part.
If, for instance, I made the same amount of money in 2017 that I did in 2018...
My deductions are lower, because I've lost the personal deductions and the new standard doesn't quite make up for it, because I have such a large brood of tiny slaves. But I feel I make up for this by having them work for me, for PB&J sandwiches and velvetta shells and cheese. I take all the money they make raking leaves and selling candy bars for children with cancer, and I was able to buy myself a PS4 Pro for Christmas. The one that comes with Red Dead Redemption 2. So I'm making out.
But with the lower marginal tax rates, I'm actually paying $126 less this year in income tax. That's before the new child credits kick in. And I get another 3 grand back. ::evil laugh:: This is great of course, because I'm not declaring all of my children's income. Kids are great. I'm thinking about adopting.
So my total saving this year, thanks to my little soldiers, is $3126. Thank you Republican Congress. I think I'll give half to Lindsay Graham's re-election campaign. I'll put it in my kid's name, though. Mmmmmmmmmm.
everyone who owns stock got about a 9% increase in the value of their portfolio.
Good for them. Should I feel jealous? Wouldn't the value of my portfolio go up as well 9%?
For my retirement account, that's about another 100K.
Well *censored* you, Greg. Better hope I don't see you. I'm going to mug you for 100K and give it to Greenpeace. Or maybe I'll donate it to "Der Wand"! "Der Süd-Wand"!
Anyways, good for you, Greg. Feel free to donate all that to poor folk like my slave children. Or give it all to Kamala Harris's Presidential Campaign. Yesssssssss! Do it, Greg! Do It. DO IT! ::evil maniacal laughter::
Okay, any of you Republican voters angry yet?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh? Oh yes. Vely vely Ang Ree. Personally, I would have preferred a bill that cut entitlements and balanced the budget. Certainly before a tax cut bill.
Because this was by far the single greatest impact that the Republicans elected in 2016 had on the country - this is what you got for your vote.
Totally not fair, since you got more than me and didn't vote Republican. That's what makes me angriest. Only REPUBLICAN voters should get tax breaks.
Sad, I suppose, when their greatest impact was simply to give people's money back to them. And of course run up the debt some more. Where's Pyr, anyways? I thought you guys didn't really care about the debt or deficit anyways.
All those conservative judges. Legions of them. A stolen SCOTUS seat. Two new conservative Justices. Maybe a third. And their biggest impact was the tax cut.
Say it louder, Greg. I don't think all the voters in the Rust Belt responsible for Clinton's loss can hear you.
And don't blame me - I voted (and donated) to stop injustice such as this.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh? So is Mitch McConnel Lex Luthor, or Sinestro? Ted Cruz is Bizzaro? OK, I buy that. Ben Sasse is definitely Catwoman.
Edit: Sorry. I mean, what exactly was I supposed to be angry about? That you saved $13,000 this year and I only saved $3000? My taxes were basically cut in half. Did you get something more, percentage wise? I'm not upset, because I know you only make more money than me because of your privilege, and the crimes your ancestors perpetrated on mine.
I can't really be upset, Greg, because I know you're going to hell. Rich men and eyes of needles and all that. And I'll be going to heaven. Hopefully with my slave money bought PS4.