Author Topic: Vogon Haikus  (Read 855 times)

Ephrem Moseley

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Vogon Haikus
« on: February 02, 2022, 03:08:07 PM »
Unkind Truth for you

Transwomen are NOT women!

Transwomen are men!!!

edit: cleaned up from Twitter version
« Last Edit: February 02, 2022, 03:12:56 PM by Ephrem Moseley »

Aris Katsaris

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Re: Vogon Haikus
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2022, 03:49:24 PM »
Ooh, let me try my own hand at improvised poetry. A bit more free-form.

They used to say:
To be a real man, you need behave like one.
To be a real man, you need go to the army.
To be a real man, you need lose your virginity, to a prostitute if need be.
To be a real man, you need in the locker rooms, to talk about the sluts you've *censored*ed, and treat women like dirt.

You can definitely not be a real man:
if you are gentle
if you don't swear

definitely not a real man:
if you want to kiss other men
if you wear dresses

It's a strange form of progress,
an admission of defeat,
when they concede,
when they retreat from all that nonsense they used to preach,
and say --
to be a real man, it's not actually about behaviour and societal roles,
we were only making that up,
they now say:
to be a real man, you need simply have a penis.

But you must have had it from birth.
Surgically provided ones don't count.
For some reason, that only they understand.

Eh, whatever.
They were stupid then,
and they remain stupid now.


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Re: Vogon Haikus
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2022, 04:01:49 PM »
From 2014:

SALT LAKE CITY - University of Utah football fans will be singing different words to their century-old fight song this autumn after the school changed the lyrics to be more inclusive of women and minorities, officials said Wednesday. Student body officers had expressed concerns over the "I am a Utah man" song, written in 1904 by a former football coach, saying some of its lyrics could be seen as sexist or racist.

The line: "Our coeds are the fairest" will be replaced by "our students are the finest," and "no other gang of college men" is being changed to "no rival band of college fans." Throughout the four-verse anthem, students will have a choice of using the word "fan" or "man," according to the university. The changes came after a task force was set up earlier this year by the university's president, David Pershing, to seek public input. "When printed officially by the university, this 2014 version of the fight song will be used, but historical renditions of the song will always be acceptable," Pershing said in a statement.

Song cancelled, Bro!